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Cows Ask Whether Feed and Therapy Are Covered HARTFORD, Connecticut - Connecticut has announced additional financial assistance for dairy farmers, prompting the state's cattle to look into whether the support might extend beyond their owners to

Heifers cite unrealistic body standards Heifers cite unrealistic body standards SÃO PAULO, Brazil — Modern cattle have survived branding, ear tags, vaccinations, weather, flies and human beings arguing about their appearance at county fairs. Their newest indignity

Payroll the Horse Works Fifteen Minutes an Hour AMARILLO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A ranch quarter horse named Payroll has interpreted the word "quarter" as a binding labor agreement, announcing that he will work precisely fifteen minutes

First purchase: one hydraulic fitting FARMER CITY, Illinois — A farmer who won ten million dollars in the lottery has announced plans to continue farming until the money is gone, a schedule that local agricultural economists

LEHIGH VALLEY, Pennsylvania. America's dairy cows have received extraordinary corporate news: a yogurt company wants more milk, and the company's executives apparently believe cows will respond by increasing production instead of asking to see the

Cows Accused of Working Too Hard MADISON, Wisconsin - American dairy farmers have run into a peculiar economic phenomenon in which producing more milk means more work, higher operating costs and, somehow, less money for the

DES MOINES, Iowa. The latest agricultural development is a corn crop nobody is supposed to eat. As reporting on family farm agritainment shows, farmers seeking revenue beyond commodity markets are turning ordinary fields into attractions.

2,000 More Cows and a Farmer Who Authorized Nothing LANSING, Mich. (Farm.FM) — A dairy farm expansion has added 2,000 cows, new housing, a larger feed-storage area and one farmer who now answers his telephone by

Scientists Say Couples Can Be Separate but Permanently Tangled WICHITA FALLS, Texas - A major breakthrough in dairy psychology suggests that peanut butter swirl ice cream may help married couples overcome excessive emotional dependency. Scientists believe

BIG Ag and Texas Don’t Mix Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands DOWNLOAD THE MP3 [Verse 1] Down here in Texas, we like things small Family farms where we know ’em all But here comes Big Ag with their suits

PEORIA, Illinois. At seventy-two, farmer Earl Bemis has reportedly made his first respectable profit, after spending fifty years planting crops, repairing equipment, worrying about rain and arguing with grain buyers. The winning crop was neither

Portage County Randolph Fair 4-H: Border Collie Herds the Judges Captain Organizes Three Adults Without a Meeting RANDOLPH, Ohio — The Portage County Randolph Fair 4-H dog show has produced an unexpected demonstration of livestock management after

NEW YORK, New York. Wall Street analysts have discovered the most valuable asset on an American farm is not the land, the grain or the machinery. It is the ability to convince wealthy people that

Washington's new software is asked to find the missing bushels WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Agriculture has announced that artificial intelligence will help verify its crop production reports, following a statistical mix-up in

The 4 A.M. Alarm Is Not a Self-Care Ritual MANHATTAN, Kansas (Farm.FM) — A lifestyle influencer has declared that farm life is the ultimate wellness retreat after a quick visit to a working cattle ranch. Wearing a

Fall menu adds a First Operating Loan package SALINA, Kan. — A farm cooperative has added special-occasion diesel to its fall offerings after discovering that members were already discussing routine fill-ups in the subdued tones ordinarily

Fantasy readers imagine impossible worlds. Farmers imagine a profitable soybean crop. WICHITA FALLS, Texas — A recent article about fantasy-fiction readers praised their ability to build complex worlds, entertain impossible possibilities, and hold contradictory ideas in

Scientists Discover Cold Dairy Can Cool a Hot Temper LAWTON, Oklahoma - A revolutionary discovery in frozen relationship medicine suggests that mint chocolate chip ice cream may be the world's first natural treatment for romantic jealousy. Researchers

A Twenty-Year Warranty Lasts Four Minutes With a Bull AMARILLO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A manufacturer of farm gate hinges has withdrawn its 20-year warranty from one Panhandle ranch after a bull named Chairman Angus destroyed the

Customers Ask Where to Scan the Chickens LANCASTER COUNTY, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — A roadside farm stand has introduced self-checkout technology to save time, reduce lines and give customers the authentic rural experience of arguing with a

Texas Sheep Refuse to Pay Designers for Wool FREDERICKSBURG, Texas — The county livestock exhibition took a turn toward international glamour after local organizers introduced Livestock Fashion Week, an agricultural runway event intended to challenge the

The Biggest Crop Meets the Lowest Price DECATUR, Illinois (Farm.FM) — A central Illinois farmer celebrated the biggest farm yield of his career Tuesday by harvesting enough corn to break the county record and enough financial

Every Employee Can Jump the Fence EUGENE, Ore. (Farm.FM) — A goat dairy farm has announced a crisis of managerial authority after every employee demonstrated an ability to jump the fence, climb the equipment and eat

Holstein representatives demand overtime and an explanation of capitalism TULARE, California — American dairy cows produced about 2.6 percent more milk in September than they did a year earlier, an achievement that markets responded to by

Farmers Ask for Coverage Against the Paperwork WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Agriculture is updating federal crop insurance options for the next crop year, giving producers expanded coverage opportunities and creating fresh demand

Soil requires no subscription CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — A farmer operating a cloud-connected tractor lost his signal in the back forty Tuesday and continued working after discovering that the earth remained available without a subscription. The tractor

Scientists Say Married Couples Can Remember What Kissing Was For ARDMORE, Oklahoma - Marriage researchers have discovered a natural dairy remedy for one of America's most serious romantic conditions: couples who have been together so long

Dairy Cows Demand Influencer Royalties LANCASTER, Pennsylvania - American dairy cows are demanding royalty payments after learning that cottage cheese has become a social-media sensation, with fitness influencers and nutrition enthusiasts turning a once-unremarkable refrigerator staple