Every Employee Can Jump the Fence
EUGENE, Ore. (Farm.FM) — A goat dairy farm has announced a crisis of managerial authority after every employee demonstrated an ability to jump the fence, climb the equipment and eat the written policies before the owner could finish explaining them. The problem began when Millie Ross installed a gate to keep her goats in one pasture. The goats spent eleven minutes evaluating the hardware and then held an unscheduled meeting on the other side. A Nigerian Dwarf named Pickles was promoted to head of security after escaping twice during the promotion ceremony. “These animals treat a fence the way a college student treats a suggested reading list,” Millie said. “They know it exists, but there’s no evidence they intend to comply.”Goat Dairy Management Is Mostly Negotiation
A goat dairy farm can produce milk for drinking, cheese, yogurt and other foods, but its owner needs more than an affectionate attitude toward animals that can operate at three heights simultaneously. Housing, feeding, udder health, clean milking procedures, breeding decisions and predators all demand attention. The American Dairy Goat Association’s getting-started guidance emphasizes checking local rules, learning dairy-goat management and investing in strong fencing and shelter. The association specifically points to predator protection as a central consideration. A stylish enclosure that goats can escape is an expensive landscaping project with witnesses. Mississippi State University Extension describes the diversity of dairy goat breeds, including Alpine, LaMancha, Nigerian Dwarf, Nubian and Saanen. Breed differences can affect production goals and management choices. Pickles reportedly considers herself a management breed, although no registry has recognized the classification. When Millie called a fencing contractor, he asked how high the fence needed to be. She replied, “Higher than a goat thinks.” The contractor said that was not an industry unit of measurement and increased his estimate.
A goat named Pickles got promoted to head of security after escaping the promotion ceremony twice. That’s not a hiring process, that’s a prison break with a name tag. If my employees could jump the fence, eat the handbook, and hold a meeting in the neighbor’s pasture, I’d stop writing policies and start writing resignation letters. Millie’s right — those goats treat a fence like a suggestion box they never read.