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The Last Budget Line Is the Farmer's Final Nerve GREEN BAY, Wis. — A dairy farmer has asked his accountant to add one final category to the farm budget: the last functioning nerve in his body,

Live cattle drop while ribeyes sit behind glass AMARILLO, Texas - Cattle futures have declined for nine consecutive trading sessions, leaving American ranchers wondering how the value of a live animal can fall while the price

Ice Cream Fixes Every Relationship Problem, Scientists Confirm Vanilla Restores Trust, Chocolate Repairs Marriages, Rocky Road Teaches Acceptance WICHITA FALLS, Texas — For generations, grandmothers, dairy farmers and women contemplating divorce have understood a basic truth about

The Tractor Wants a Company Credit Card AMES, Iowa. — A dairy farm tractor has requested a corporate credit card, a monthly fuel allowance and preferred parking after its owner complained that diesel had become the

Economists recommend efficiency improvements to farmers already working 14-hour days EAU CLAIRE, Wisconsin — Dairy farmer Ray Kowalczyk stood at a fuel pump this week, looked at the price per gallon, then looked at the price

Inspector learns the barn certifies faster than the classroom HICO, Texas - The Calf Care & Quality Assurance program has scheduled its first in-person welfare-auditor certification course in Visalia, California. According to Dairy Business News, trainees

Dallas County 4-H Livestock Show: Goat Demands VIP Parking Rowlett Goat Decides G.O.A.T. Stands for Him DALLAS, Texas — A Dallas County 4-H livestock exhibition has descended into a serious celebrity dispute after a goat discovered that

Profit Still Considered Too Risky DES MOINES, Iowa — Agricultural economists warned this week that government farm support is increasingly built around emergency relief instead of long-term productivity and resilience, a finding that surprised no farmer,

The Steer May Qualify for Retirement Before the Appointment ABILENE, Texas (Farm.FM) — A rancher trying to schedule a beef-processing appointment has been offered a date so far into the future that his steer now qualifies

Record milk, viral cottage cheese and a milk check that still won't stretch WICHITA FALLS, Texas - The latest dairy reporting reveals a wonderfully painful contradiction: America has record dairy production, booming cottage-cheese demand and extraordinarily

Washington promises to protect the family farm as soon as the last family sells its cows to pay the lawyer ARLINGTON, Virginia — A coalition of 87 organizations urged Congress this week to pass legislation intended

Land prices outrun livestock profits across Wyoming's ranch country. LARAMIE, Wyoming — Wyoming's cattle industry has entered an exciting new era in which the only people who can afford to own a ranch are people who

Fitness influencer lumps up breakfast, bagel aristocrat files for sympathy DECATUR, Texas - Cottage-cheese sales rose 17.7% to roughly $2.32 billion over the latest 52 weeks, while cream-cheese sales dropped 4.4%, according to MarketWatch. Protein-focused social

Every Competitor Was Too Busy Working to March DODGE CITY, Kansas (Farm.FM) — Organizers of the inaugural Farm Hand Olympics have canceled their opening ceremony after discovering that all 86 competitors were already involved in actual

Seed Weevil Larvae Trigger Export Detentions MICHOACÁN, Mexico — Mexican avocado farmers have run into an unpleasant economic principle: the only thing worse than growing a valuable crop that nobody wants to buy is growing a

The Eggs Win; the Hen Asks for Benefits DES MOINES, Iowa (Farm.FM) — A poultry business has named farm eggs its Employee of the Month after an internal productivity review showed the eggs generated nearly all

One milk, two prices and a Holstein asking which half is hers SULPHUR SPRINGS, Texas - The latest Class III milk price dropped to $15.16 per hundredweight while Class IV rose to $20.54, according to Ag

Cheapest farm worker has four legs and no interest in meetings SEYMOUR, Wisconsin - A Wisconsin dairy farmer has identified an agricultural efficiency strategy so revolutionary that it involves letting cows perform activities cows have been

Heated Seats, Six Speakers, No Room for Hay STILLWATER, Oklahoma (Farm.FM) — A new ranch UTV has arrived with heated seats, six speakers, three riding modes and an onboard entertainment system that can stream a cooking

Fuel bills climb while the herd keeps a seven-day schedule CHILTON, Wisconsin - American dairy farmers have informed the USDA that diesel costs are consuming their already fragile profit margins, prompting agricultural bureaucrats to investigate whether

Panhandle producers stop complaining and become competition DIMMITT, Texas - Thirty-six Texas Panhandle investors are backing a new beef-processing plant after apparently concluding that the best way to negotiate with major meatpackers is to become their

Quiet comes with a landing pad SHERIDAN, Wyo. — A rancher who bid on a neighboring pasture was edged out Saturday by a buyer who said he had spent his entire working life dreaming of a

The Big Sale Still Costs More Than Last Year EAU CLAIRE, Wisconsin (Farm.FM) — A dairy supply store has announced the biggest sale, offering farmers discounts on everything they need to milk cows, except the terrifying

Farmers ask Washington to send some of the improvement south WICHITA FALLS, Texas - Federal drought analysts have announced improvements across portions of the United States, prompting Southern farmers to ask whether government officials could arrange

Silicon Valley discovers nature worked without venture capital SAN FRANCISCO, California - Agricultural technology investors have committed $13 million to a company developing robotic pollination technology, prompting ordinary honeybees to question whether working for nectar has

Calves worth more also mean less winter labor SYCAMORE, Illinois - An Illinois dairy farmer has developed an agricultural strategy so practical that consultants are reportedly preparing to charge other farmers $1,200 to hear about it.

Holsteins set a record, then ask who's holding the check MADISON, Wisconsin - America's dairy cows increased milk production by 2.6% in the latest monthly count, prompting farmers to convene emergency meetings explaining that producing more

Federal formula counts milk and feed, overlooks everything else COMANCHE, Texas - The USDA calculated the latest Dairy Margin Coverage figure at $8.35 per hundredweight, enough to trigger a $1.15-per-hundredweight payment for eligible production insured at