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Farmer Asks Whether Government Can Start a Combine First AMES, Iowa — Progressive politicians celebrating America's anti-Trump election backlash have unveiled the agricultural equivalent of economic equality: every farmer will receive exactly the same access to

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette... DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD (Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

The Aggie Fight Song Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds The Aggie Bar Fight Song: Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger FREE DOWNLOAD -  Aggie Bar Fight Song .mp3 Verse 1: I walked into a bar, a

My Hometown Ain't No Town at All Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds My Hometown Ain't No Town at All — Lyrics and Music by Alan Nafzger DOWNLOAD Verse 1: My hometown ain't no town at all, We got

Farmers Question Their Romance With Trump FORT DODGE, Iowa — For ten years, rural America maintained one of the most passionate political relationships in American history. Farmers loved Donald Trump. Trump loved farmers. Campaign rallies resembled

Audit Flags Duck and Noise Reporting NEWTON, Iowa — A school district's early learning committee voted 5 to 2 to revise the words to "Old MacDonald Had a Farm," one of the nursery rhymes songs taught

Morons Outnumber Cows in Texas Democrats win Texas governor and Senate as cattle demand a recount AUSTIN, Texas — The great state of Texas has survived hurricanes, droughts, oil busts, rattlesnakes, armadillos, and several decades of politicians

A Million-Dollar Makeover With a Very Big Screen ROCHESTER, Minn. (Farm.FM) — A dairy farm milking parlor has received an extravagant million-dollar makeover, complete with stainless steel, polished concrete and a computer screen larger than the

The Robots Notice Humans Take Lunch Breaks ITHACA, N.Y. (Farm.FM) — Dairy farm milking robots have reportedly filed their first workplace complaint after observing that humans enjoy coffee breaks, lunch hours and a disturbing habit of

The Most Reliable Profit Plan Comes From Underground TOPEKA, Kansas (Farm.FM) — Farm Journal has become the center of an agricultural financial miracle in a satirical press conference where consultants presented a revolutionary route to farm

Fresh Air for the Calves, Exhaust for the Farmer STEVENS POINT, Wisconsin (Farm.FM) — A dairy farm calf barn ventilation upgrade has provided newborn animals with carefully measured fresh air, leaving the farmer to wonder why

Michigan Farmers Search Barns for Foreign Policy HASTINGS, Michigan — Gene Hackett has collected eggs for fifty-one years, and he says he has never once found a diplomatic cable in a nest box. Hackett, 68, keeps four

The Brochure Says Lifestyle; the Pasture Says Calving at Midnight NORTH TEXAS (Farm.FM) — A ranch land for sale listing drew considerable attention this week after the broker described 1,800 acres of working pasture as "a

Customers Write Their Own Wall of Farm Wisdom ORD, Nebraska — Pruett Feed & Seed took down its framed motivational posters this month and invited customers to write their own on the wall, and the resulting

Grower asks the app to break the news in person LINCOLN, Neb. — A weather app sent a corn grower a cheerful notification Tuesday inviting him to get outside and enjoy another beautiful day. The grower

Credit committee invited to a pregnancy check NORTH PLATTE, Neb. — A banker reviewing a cattle operation's borrowing plan asked how soon a group of replacement heifers would generate revenue. The rancher opened the gate and

Ammonia Nears $875 a Ton in the Midwest WICHITA FALLS, Texas — American farmers have discovered that the most expensive thing about growing corn is no longer the tractor, the land or the diesel. It's convincing

Kansas Library Board Weighs $565.75 Fine SALINA, Kansas — A retired dairy farmer returned a library copy of the Animal Farm Orwell book to the Smoky Hill County Library this week, 31 years after he checked

Barn Trial Finds Flock Unmoved by Holiday Jokes LITCHFIELD, Minnesota — A turkey grower who spent nine days hanging Thanksgiving humor memes at beak height inside a working barn reported that his flock of 11,200 birds

The Debate Ends When the Dairy Cow Asks for Back Pay OMAHA, Nebraska (Farm.FM) — A highly publicized dairy cow vs beef cow debate ended abruptly Thursday when the dairy representative requested thirty months of back

Hog Group Files Complaint Over Barn Wall Scene OTTUMWA, Iowa — The Wapello Valley Pork Producers filed a written complaint this week with the Rialto Theater over its Saturday matinee of the movie of Animal Farm,

Milk producers celebrate by asking their banks to extend overdrafts until Christmas DES MOINES, Iowa — America's dairy processors announced this week that more than $15 billion in new plant investment is headed to 23 states,

The Cows Drink With Suspicious Enthusiasm MADISON, Wis. (Farm.FM) — A dairy farm water use investigation has concluded that cows are drinking with suspicious enthusiasm, forcing management to consider whether the herd has secretly enrolled in

A Retiring Holstein Wants Severance and a Gold Watch HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — Dairy farm cull cow decisions have been transferred to a newly established human resources department after a retiring Holstein demanded a severance package,

The Heifers Top the Agricultural Job Market LANSING, Mich. (Farm.FM) — Dairy farm heifers have been declared the most promising applicants in the agricultural labor market after a local employment consultant discovered that, unlike many recent

Farm Support Tops $950 Billion Across 56 Countries PARIS, France — International agricultural economists have identified a pattern in government policy that holds across continents: politicians would rather spend billions rescuing struggling farmers than build the

Tourists Pay Extra to Carry Their Own Pumpkin LANCASTER, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — A farm pumpkin patch has unveiled a seventy-five-dollar VIP experience allowing visitors to walk into a field, select a pumpkin, and carry it all

Nebraska Operation Posts Spouse Wanted Ad HASTINGS, Nebraska — A 1,100-acre grain and cattle operation placed a classified ad this week under the heading "Farm Wants a Wife," which its attorney called the first spousal search

Someone Light Me a Drink, Pour Me a Smoke Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Someone Light Me a Drink, Pour Me a Smoke -- Lyrics and Music by Alan Nafzger DOWNLOAD Verse 1 Sittin' at this bar, I’m

Seasonal crew arrives after the fruit changes careers YAKIMA, Wash. — An apple grower who spent the summer preparing for harvest received word that her seasonal crew could finally get to work just as the apples