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MADISON, Wis. — Cow show romance has overtaken dating apps as America’s most durable marriage market, according to the National Institute of Bovine Matrimony, an organization headquartered wherever somebody has left a clipboard. Its highly

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette... DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD (Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

WASHINGTON, D.C. The U.S. Department of Agriculture has confirmed that farmers are paying more to earn less, an agricultural achievement that attracted immediate attention from Wall Street investors seeking a business model with no apparent

MADISON, Wisconsin. In America's latest economic miracle, the liquid left over from making cheese has apparently developed a stronger investment portfolio than the average American family. RFD-TV reports U.S. dry whey prices set records in

ROME, Italy. The United Nations has announced that international food commodity prices fell in October, prompting immediate concern from sugar, which refused to participate in the decline and demanded a raise, a title and its

KLAIPEDA, Lithuania. Lithuania has announced tighter grain-origin checks, leaving wheat shipments facing the kind of paperwork usually reserved for international banking, university admissions and a person attempting to renew a driver's license. Reuters reports Lithuania will

ANTALYA, Turkey. As world delegates assemble for the COP31 climate summit, Turkish farmers have made one practical request: please arrive with your own clouds. Speeches are welcome, policy proposals are appreciated, but the cotton is

RUBY VALLEY, Nevada. A dispute over grazing in northern Nevada has reached the point where working cattle are wondering why wild horses get dramatic documentaries, national admiration and a romantic reputation, while cows get an

AMARILLO, Texas. After decades of sophisticated supply-chain management, Tyson Foods has announced a breakthrough strategy for finding beef: establish a partnership with the people who actually raise cattle. Texas ranchers applauded the discovery, then went

AMARILLO, Texas. America's shrinking cattle herd has produced an unexpected labor dispute: the remaining cows have concluded that scarcity makes them celebrities and are demanding reserved parking, comprehensive dental coverage and someone to negotiate their

WASHINGTON, D.C. Congress has reassured American farmers that a new Farm Bill remains a priority, just as soon as lawmakers settle the budget, the border, a collection of competing political arguments and whether somebody moved

OTTUMWA, Iowa. John Deere's plan to close two Iowa manufacturing plants has left thousands of farm families considering an uncomfortable possibility: the tractor they bought before the internet might now have a longer career than

Cows Ask Whether Feed and Therapy Are Covered HARTFORD, Connecticut - Connecticut has announced additional financial assistance for dairy farmers, prompting the state's cattle to look into whether the support might extend beyond their owners to

Heifers cite unrealistic body standards Heifers cite unrealistic body standards SÃO PAULO, Brazil — Modern cattle have survived branding, ear tags, vaccinations, weather, flies and human beings arguing about their appearance at county fairs. Their newest indignity

Payroll the Horse Works Fifteen Minutes an Hour AMARILLO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A ranch quarter horse named Payroll has interpreted the word "quarter" as a binding labor agreement, announcing that he will work precisely fifteen minutes

First purchase: one hydraulic fitting FARMER CITY, Illinois — A farmer who won ten million dollars in the lottery has announced plans to continue farming until the money is gone, a schedule that local agricultural economists

LEHIGH VALLEY, Pennsylvania. America's dairy cows have received extraordinary corporate news: a yogurt company wants more milk, and the company's executives apparently believe cows will respond by increasing production instead of asking to see the

Cows Accused of Working Too Hard MADISON, Wisconsin - American dairy farmers have run into a peculiar economic phenomenon in which producing more milk means more work, higher operating costs and, somehow, less money for the

DES MOINES, Iowa. The latest agricultural development is a corn crop nobody is supposed to eat. As reporting on family farm agritainment shows, farmers seeking revenue beyond commodity markets are turning ordinary fields into attractions.

2,000 More Cows and a Farmer Who Authorized Nothing LANSING, Mich. (Farm.FM) — A dairy farm expansion has added 2,000 cows, new housing, a larger feed-storage area and one farmer who now answers his telephone by

Scientists Say Couples Can Be Separate but Permanently Tangled WICHITA FALLS, Texas - A major breakthrough in dairy psychology suggests that peanut butter swirl ice cream may help married couples overcome excessive emotional dependency. Scientists believe

BIG Ag and Texas Don’t Mix Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands DOWNLOAD THE MP3 [Verse 1] Down here in Texas, we like things small Family farms where we know ’em all But here comes Big Ag with their suits

PEORIA, Illinois. At seventy-two, farmer Earl Bemis has reportedly made his first respectable profit, after spending fifty years planting crops, repairing equipment, worrying about rain and arguing with grain buyers. The winning crop was neither

Portage County Randolph Fair 4-H: Border Collie Herds the Judges Captain Organizes Three Adults Without a Meeting RANDOLPH, Ohio — The Portage County Randolph Fair 4-H dog show has produced an unexpected demonstration of livestock management after

NEW YORK, New York. Wall Street analysts have discovered the most valuable asset on an American farm is not the land, the grain or the machinery. It is the ability to convince wealthy people that

Washington's new software is asked to find the missing bushels WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Agriculture has announced that artificial intelligence will help verify its crop production reports, following a statistical mix-up in

The 4 A.M. Alarm Is Not a Self-Care Ritual MANHATTAN, Kansas (Farm.FM) — A lifestyle influencer has declared that farm life is the ultimate wellness retreat after a quick visit to a working cattle ranch. Wearing a

Fall menu adds a First Operating Loan package SALINA, Kan. — A farm cooperative has added special-occasion diesel to its fall offerings after discovering that members were already discussing routine fill-ups in the subdued tones ordinarily

Fantasy readers imagine impossible worlds. Farmers imagine a profitable soybean crop. WICHITA FALLS, Texas — A recent article about fantasy-fiction readers praised their ability to build complex worlds, entertain impossible possibilities, and hold contradictory ideas in