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Midwest Farm Women Wear Seven Layers to Chores; Boyfriends Complain It Takes 45 Minutes to Find Something Worth Kissing Farmer Boyfriends Say Winter Romance Now Requires Removing Two Carhartt Jackets, Insulated Bibs and Enough Thermal Underwear

Farmer Asks Whether Government Can Start a Combine First AMES, Iowa — Progressive politicians celebrating America's anti-Trump election backlash have unveiled the agricultural equivalent of economic equality: every farmer will receive exactly the same access to

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette... DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD (Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

The Aggie Fight Song Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds The Aggie Bar Fight Song: Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger FREE DOWNLOAD -  Aggie Bar Fight Song .mp3 Verse 1: I walked into a bar, a

The Pharisees Didn’t Sing Performed by Whiskey Wind & The Prairie Boys The Pharisees Didn’t Sing - DOWNLOAD Verse 1: Well, I went to the temple just the other day, Heard the Levites singin’ in that old-time way. But the Pharisees

Scientists Discover Love Comes With Nuts NORMAN, Oklahoma - A groundbreaking development in dairy psychology has confirmed that Rocky Road ice cream may be the most realistic model of marriage ever produced. Unlike romantic comedies, wedding advertisements,

Growers Destroy 52 Tons of Fruit as Weevils Collect the Margins MICHOACÁN, Mexico — Mexican avocado farmers have discovered a remarkable new agricultural business model: spend an entire year growing valuable fruit, pay crews to harvest

Protection for Parts That Cost More Than Houses MOLINE, Illinois - John Deere has announced an expanded warranty on eligible replacement parts, and agricultural producers across America are celebrating the prospect of two full years of

Washington spends big to fix a price farmers can already name WASHINGTON, D.C. - The USDA has announced approximately $573 million in proposed federal support for domestic fertilizer manufacturing projects, promising to reduce costs for American

Farmer saves fuel, learns 600 employees ignore transportation budgets OCONTO FALLS, Wisconsin - Wisconsin dairy farmer Hank Wagner has reported that rising diesel prices and transportation surcharges are forcing his operation to become more efficient, a

Mildred Delivers Her Review in Mouse Form HASTINGS, Nebraska (Farm.FM) — A farm cat named Mildred has rejected her first annual performance review, placed a dead mouse on the owner's keyboard and gone to sleep in

Farmers ask whether China is buying beans or just looking DES MOINES, Iowa - American soybean farmers are celebrating a remarkable export report showing that shipments reached a marketing-year high while new sales declined 44%, demonstrating

Washington finds the cheapest way to cut farmer complaints LINCOLN COUNTY, Wisconsin — The government has finally discovered a sure-fire way to reduce complaints from dairy farmers: wait until the farmers disappear. On one Wisconsin road, the

Nation breaks butter record while farmers' bank accounts go low-fat STEPHENVILLE, Texas - American dairies churned out 204 million pounds of butter, 10.9% more than a year earlier, according to Cheese Reporter. It was the first

Accountant confirms the farm has accidentally become a charity MERRILL, Wisconsin - Wisconsin dairy farmer Hans Breitenmoser has identified a remarkable defect in American agricultural economics: dairy farmers sell their products at wholesale prices while purchasing

Bell County Youth Fair 4-H: Steer Entry Stuck in Shopping Cart Belton Father Saved the Cart but Never Checked Out BELTON, Texas — The Bell County Youth Fair 4-H livestock show has exposed a devastating weakness in

Ranchers want to know who's hiding the water COLLEGE STATION, Texas - Agricultural economists have reported that 77% of Texas beef cows were located in drought-affected areas in recent weeks, prompting ranchers to demand the immediate

The Last Budget Line Is the Farmer's Final Nerve GREEN BAY, Wis. — A dairy farmer has asked his accountant to add one final category to the farm budget: the last functioning nerve in his body,

Live cattle drop while ribeyes sit behind glass AMARILLO, Texas - Cattle futures have declined for nine consecutive trading sessions, leaving American ranchers wondering how the value of a live animal can fall while the price

Ice Cream Fixes Every Relationship Problem, Scientists Confirm Vanilla Restores Trust, Chocolate Repairs Marriages, Rocky Road Teaches Acceptance WICHITA FALLS, Texas — For generations, grandmothers, dairy farmers and women contemplating divorce have understood a basic truth about

The Tractor Wants a Company Credit Card AMES, Iowa. — A dairy farm tractor has requested a corporate credit card, a monthly fuel allowance and preferred parking after its owner complained that diesel had become the

Nueces County Junior Livestock Show: Mall Mystery Shopper Reviews the Barns Corporate Evaluator Assigned to the Outlet Center Next Door Takes One Wrong Turn, Files a 1,400-Associate Report on the Largest County Junior Show in Texas ROBSTOWN,

Floyd County Stock Show: Rival Towns Sign the Pumpkin Treaty Floydada and Lockney FFA Delegations Meet on Neutral Ground in Muncy to Divide 1,500 Bins of Unsold Halloween Pumpkins Before the Barrows Weigh In MUNCY, Texas —

Collin County Junior Livestock Show: Crop Report Rates Rooftops Good to Excellent McKinney Crop Reporter Finds the Show Barn Is the Highest-Yielding Field Left in the County MCKINNEY, Texas — The weekly crop progress and condition report

Economists recommend efficiency improvements to farmers already working 14-hour days EAU CLAIRE, Wisconsin — Dairy farmer Ray Kowalczyk stood at a fuel pump this week, looked at the price per gallon, then looked at the price

Inspector learns the barn certifies faster than the classroom HICO, Texas - The Calf Care & Quality Assurance program has scheduled its first in-person welfare-auditor certification course in Visalia, California. According to Dairy Business News, trainees

Dallas County 4-H Livestock Show: Goat Demands VIP Parking Rowlett Goat Decides G.O.A.T. Stands for Him DALLAS, Texas — A Dallas County 4-H livestock exhibition has descended into a serious celebrity dispute after a goat discovered that

Profit Still Considered Too Risky DES MOINES, Iowa — Agricultural economists warned this week that government farm support is increasingly built around emergency relief instead of long-term productivity and resilience, a finding that surprised no farmer,

The Steer May Qualify for Retirement Before the Appointment ABILENE, Texas (Farm.FM) — A rancher trying to schedule a beef-processing appointment has been offered a date so far into the future that his steer now qualifies

Arkansas State Fair Livestock Show: Parents Build $38,000 Bunny Gym Little Rock Parents Spend Like Defense Contractors on a Contest Whose Athletes Weigh Four Pounds LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas — Any honest account of the Arkansas State Fair

Record milk, viral cottage cheese and a milk check that still won't stretch WICHITA FALLS, Texas - The latest dairy reporting reveals a wonderfully painful contradiction: America has record dairy production, booming cottage-cheese demand and extraordinarily

Washington promises to protect the family farm as soon as the last family sells its cows to pay the lawyer ARLINGTON, Virginia — A coalition of 87 organizations urged Congress this week to pass legislation intended