Marxists Promise Every Farmer a Share of One Tractor
Farmer Asks Whether Government Can Start a Combine First AMES, Iowa — Progressive politicians celebrating America's anti-Trump election backlash have unveiled the agricultural equivalent of economic equality: every farmer will receive exactly the same access to
Barbie Was Born in a Barn
LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette...DOWNLOAD
Tumbleweed
Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD(Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you
The Aggie Fight Song
The Aggie Fight Song Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds The Aggie Bar Fight Song: Music and Lyrics by Alan NafzgerFREE DOWNLOAD - Aggie Bar Fight Song .mp3Verse 1: I walked into a bar, a
Defra Gives Nature Six Hours to Apply
Hedgerows miss the deadline and must reapply next year LONDON, England — Britain has established that protecting the natural environment is an urgent national priority, provided the natural environment submits all necessary documentation before 3:48 in
Stone-Cold Done With You
Stone-Cold Done With You Female Country Vocal | Texas Honky-Tonk | Witty Heartbreak Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds[Verse 1] Had supper on the table, Wore that little dress in red. You walked right past my kisses, Went
Farmer Hands Banker a Forecast and a Penny
Cash flow plan hinges on Thursday TOPEKA, Kan. — A farmer renewing his operating line handed a loan officer a seven-day forecast and a penny after the bank requested evidence of predictable cash flow.The forecast showed
GOP Says Economy Is Booming, Farmers Ask Which One
Iowa Families Search Their Property for Missing Prosperity MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa — Republican economists have announced that the American economy is enjoying spectacular prosperity, prompting thousands of farmers to begin searching their properties for the prosperity they
Dairy Farm Sign Reads Diary Farm
Visitors Keep Asking to Read the Farmer's Diary MONROE, Wisconsin — Ron Gilbertson milks 118 cows twice a day on his family dairy farm southwest of town, and since a sign painter spelled the roadside sign
Socialism Has Never Successfully Milked a Cow
Equal Farm Profits Leave Everyone Owing $47 and Half a Holstein MADISON, Wis. — America's political revolution has reached the dairy barn, where progressive politicians celebrating anti-Trump election victories have encountered an unexpected obstacle to their
Corn Prices Ignore Presidential Speeches
Iowa Farmers Learn the Market Does Not Attend Rallies AMES, Iowa — Republican agricultural strategists are facing a serious communications problem after discovering that corn prices refuse to respond to political speeches.For years, Washington operated under
Brazil Floods Europe With Soy, EU Demands 47 Pages
Europe Wants the Food but Would Prefer No Agriculture BRUSSELS, Belgium — Brazilian agricultural exports to Europe are booming, creating a significant challenge for European Union officials who must now determine how to welcome additional food
Texas A&M Studies Screwworms, Ranchers Eye Washington
Cattle Ask Scientists to Check Congress for Parasites COLLEGE STATION, Texas — Scientists at Texas A&M University are undertaking an ambitious genetic investigation of the New World screwworm, a dangerous livestock parasite, after American cattle reportedly
Ranchers Discover Their Fences Now Come With a Subscription
Virtual fencing replaces barbed wire with monthly billing LEWISTOWN, Montana — For 150 years, American ranchers have been plagued by a simple problem: fences break. Fortunately, Silicon Valley has solved it by inventing fences that can
Minnesota Farmers Propose Political Crop Insurance
Insurers Decline After Disasters Outpace Hailstorms WORTHINGTON, Minnesota — After examining Republican tariffs, Democratic regulations, soaring fuel prices and disappearing export markets, farmers are considering a third option: purchasing political crop insurance. Every time Washington makes
Farmers Earn 0.5% More, Pay 5.2% More
USDA Calls It an Exciting Opportunity to Lose Money Faster DES MOINES, Iowa — American agriculture has achieved a remarkable economic milestone: farmers are now experiencing rising income and declining purchasing power simultaneously, an accomplishment previously
Fertilizer Prices Rise, Experts Suggest Complimenting the Corn
Farmers Try Positive Affirmations in Place of Nitrogen PEORIA, Illinois — American farmers have received another encouraging message from the agricultural economy: fertilizer prices are increasing, profit margins remain uncertain, and the nation's corn plants have
Dairy Cow Demands Maternity Leave After Discovering the Human Resources Handbook
Agnes Wants Maternity Leave Like the Humans Get FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin (Farm.FM) — A dairy cow named Agnes has demanded maternity leave after discovering an employee handbook in the farm office, launching a labor dispute
Farmers Can’t Eat GOP Campaign Promises
Republicans Lose Rural Voters Over Empty Plates HUTCHINSON, Kansas — Republican officials across rural America are confronting an unprecedented agricultural discovery: campaign promises contain almost no nutritional value.The finding emerged after several farmers attempted to substitute
Cornell Tomatoes Turn Purple When Hungry
Farmers ask for one that turns green when they make money AURORA, New York (Farm.FM) — Cornell scientists have engineered tomato plants that turn red-purple when they run short of nitrogen, a breakthrough that has American
World Spends $950 Billion on Farming, Farmers Check Mailbox
Governments Celebrate While Tractors Run on Wire and Optimism PARIS, France — Governments around the world have achieved a remarkable milestone in agricultural economics: more than $950 billion in annual support for agriculture, proving that humanity
Deere Hires 400 as Its Biggest Customer Goes Broke
Farm Debt and Tractor Demand Collide in Waterloo WATERLOO, Iowa — John Deere announced plans to hire more than 400 factory workers and recall more than 275 employees in Waterloo, introducing an unexpected development in American
Trump Loses Farm Vote as Farmers Feel Farmed
Rural Kansans Count What Loyalty Bought Them GARDEN CITY, Kansas — American farmers are reconsidering their political relationship with Washington after discovering that the nation's most profitable agricultural enterprise may actually be the harvesting of rural
GOP Calls Farm Bankruptcy Economic Freedom
Kansas Farmers Ask for a Different Kind of Liberty DODGE CITY, Kansas — Republican economists have unveiled a revolutionary explanation for agricultural financial distress: Farmers who lose everything are not experiencing bankruptcy. They are experiencing an
Rural Counties File for Political Divorce
Missouri Farmers Cite Irreconcilable Economic Differences SEDALIA, Missouri — America's rural counties have entered political divorce proceedings after a decade-long relationship with the Republican Party allegedly deteriorated over money, broken promises and disagreements about who was
Corn Rally Told to Wait Outside Elevator
Basis keeps Chicago's good news in the parking lot STORM LAKE, Iowa — A rally in corn futures reached a local grain elevator Tuesday morning and was asked to wait outside while the manager finished posting
Farmers Tell Trump: It’s Not You, It’s the Economy. Actually, It’s You Too.
Rural Voters Who Defended Trump at Reunions Reconsider the Marriage STORM LAKE, Iowa — The longest-running political romance in rural America is facing a difficult conversation.For years, farmers defended Donald Trump against relatives, neighbors, television commentators
Farmers Elect Socialists Who Think Corn Grows on Grants
Resentment Does Not Qualify as Fertilizer DES MOINES, Iowa — America's agricultural community has apparently discovered a new crop following the midterm elections: political resentment, which requires no fertilizer, survives drought and produces an abundant harvest
Soybean Harvest 88% Done, Profit Harvest at Zero
Bankers Prepare to Collect Everything That Is Not Nailed Down OMAHA, Nebraska — American farmers have nearly finished harvesting their soybean crop, achieving the remarkable feat of producing billions of dollars in agricultural commodities while remaining
Ranch Heifer Prices Make Rebuilding the Herd More Expensive Than Buying a Vacation Home
Ranch Heifer Prices Rival Vacation Homes Replacement Heifers Now Come With Listings and Financing WICHITA FALLS, Texas (Farm.FM) — Ranch heifer prices have climbed to the point where North Texas cow-calf producer Marlene Fisk is comparing replacement
Socialists Offer Rural Voters a Reason to Keep Farming
Minnesota Dairy Farmers Care More About Bills Than Theory MANKATO, Minnesota — Progressive political organizers are celebrating a breakthrough in rural America after discovering that struggling farmers can sometimes be persuaded to attend a Democratic meeting
Rural Voters’ Breaking Point Sits Below Cost of Production
Kansas Wheat Growers Endure Speeches on Prosperity SALINA, Kansas — Republican political consultants have discovered that rural voters possess a breaking point.Unfortunately, agricultural economists report that the breaking point is located several dollars below the cost









