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Midwest Farm Women Wear Seven Layers to Chores; Boyfriends Complain It Takes 45 Minutes to Find Something Worth Kissing Farmer Boyfriends Say Winter Romance Now Requires Removing Two Carhartt Jackets, Insulated Bibs and Enough Thermal Underwear

Farmer Asks Whether Government Can Start a Combine First AMES, Iowa — Progressive politicians celebrating America's anti-Trump election backlash have unveiled the agricultural equivalent of economic equality: every farmer will receive exactly the same access to

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette...DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD(Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

The Aggie Fight Song Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds The Aggie Bar Fight Song: Music and Lyrics by Alan NafzgerFREE DOWNLOAD -  Aggie Bar Fight Song .mp3Verse 1: I walked into a bar, a

Cattle Prices Hit Record Territory; Rancher Discovers He's Rich Until He Needs to Buy Another Cow High cattle prices make ranchers wealthy on paper while replacement heifers begin competing with luxury automobiles. ABILENE, Texas - American cattle

Fertilizer Prices Reach $875 a Ton; Farmers Ask Corn to Hold Its Breath Agricultural economists recommend careful input management while fertilizer dealers recommend financing. LINCOLN, Nebraska - American corn farmers have begun negotiating directly with their crops

Texas Ranchers Fight Screwworm Threat; Parasites Announce They're Just Another Federal Agency Looking for a Cut Livestock producers confront a dangerous parasite while discovering that the only thing multiplying faster than flies is the paperwork. SAN ANGELO,

USDA Hires Artificial Intelligence to Catch Mistakes Made by Natural Stupidity Federal agriculture officials discover that computers can identify mistakes, provided the humans remember to turn them on. WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Department of Agriculture has

Congress Discovers Farm Bill From 2018 Still Works, Provided Farmers Live in 2018 Washington identifies a simple solution to modern agricultural problems: persuade inflation to reverse itself. WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congressional agriculture officials have identified an economical

Know What Counts Washington Counts Cows, Farmers Count Cash WICHITA FALLS, Texas — America's farmers and ranchers have been urged to "know what counts" after agricultural economists announced that the nation's farm economy could be better understood

Cornell finds New York's hardest-working crew is underground ITHACA, New York (Farm.FM) — Scientists at Cornell University have discovered roughly 5.5 million bees living beneath a New York cemetery, making the burial ground the most productive

Five Bedrooms and Nowhere to Put a Horse PHOENIX, Arizona (Farm.FM) — New ranch house plans promise five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a three-car garage and a "cowboy lifestyle," but prospective buyer Frank Moreno has discovered that

Herd agrees to a four-hour labor action WICHITA FALLS, Texas — A North Texas rancher informed his equipment dealer Monday that his cows had unanimously agreed to postpone breakfast until Thursday, when a technician might be

You Look Like Trouble (But I’ll Take My Chances) Performed by Debbie Harper and the Prairie Songbirds You Look Like Trouble (But I’ll Take My Chances) - DOWNLOAD(Verse 1) Saw you walk in, boots like you own the

Bosque Ranch, million-dollar horses and a hay bill nobody put on television FORT WORTH, Texas (Farm.FM) — Taylor Sheridan has revolutionized American ranching with a new kind of operation in which the horses are million-dollar athletes,

Government calls it a victory as poppy fields multiply KABUL, Afghanistan — The Taliban has achieved another remarkable victory in its continuing war against reality, announcing that its prohibition on opium cultivation is a tremendous success

Clarion learns 'domestic' doesn't mean 'nearby'Clarion learns 'domestic' doesn't mean 'nearby'CLARION, Iowa — John Deere has found a way to keep manufacturing in America while giving individual American communities considerably less of it. This innovative

Workers told to keep their bags packedWorkers told to keep their bags packedOTTUMWA, Iowa — John Deere has introduced an exciting new manufacturing strategy in which employees receive encouraging news on Friday and begin checking

A Robot Milks 300 Cows but Can't Fix the Driveway MADISON, Wisconsin (Farm.FM) — A farmer visiting Dairy Expo 2026 was reportedly introduced to a robot capable of performing an impressive list of milking-related tasks but

Farmers Announce Breakthrough: Growing Less Food Costs Almost as Much as Growing MoreAgricultural scientists discover that tractors, mortgages, and property taxes do not disappear when farmers reduce production.CHAMPAIGN, Illinois - American agricultural researchers have announced

Famous Markings Can't Be Deposited at the Feed Store ROCHESTER, Minn. (Farm.FM) — Dairy farm Holstein cows have been informed that their famous black-and-white markings, despite being recognized on milk cartons worldwide, cannot be deposited at

Scientists Put Solar Panels Over Dairy Cows; Cows Demand Electricity Royalties and Paid ShadeAgricultural researchers discover that cows enjoy standing in the shade, creating an opportunity to install expensive equipment over something trees have been

Farm Economists Predict Stronger Crop Revenue; Fertilizer Dealers Have Already Spent ItUSDA forecasts improved crop receipts, setting off a competitive celebration among the people farmers must pay first.AMES, Iowa - Agricultural economists have announced encouraging

USDA Gives Farmers $8 Billion for Diesel They Already Burned and Money They Already LostWashington introduces agricultural time travel, beginning with reimbursement for yesterday's fuel.WICHITA, Kansas - American farmers have welcomed a federal initiative designed

Washington economists discover producers are losing money at a rate previously reserved for federal programs KANSAS CITY, Missouri — Dairy farmers confirmed this week that they are making less money, a finding the U.S. Department of

Congress Proposes Restoring 20 Million Acres of Grazing Land; Cattle Demand the Other 20 Million Be a Golf CourseA bipartisan ranching proposal encounters an unexpected obstacle after cattle insist restored pasture must include recreational amenities.PIERRE,

The Horse Ate the Waiver Before the First Slide CHEYENNE, Wyoming (Farm.FM) — A ranch bronc riding safety seminar ended before the first presentation when a horse named Deposition ate the liability waiver, the attendance sheet

Dairy Farm Installs Robotic Milker; Robot Resigns After Seeing the Profit MarginArtificial intelligence learns to milk cows, calculate feed costs, and immediately request a transfer to a more financially secure industry.GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - A

The Toy Tractor Gets Its Own Financing Plan DYERSVILLE, Iowa (Farm.FM) — A new $150 toy tractor has been unveiled to considerable excitement among collectors and considerable alarm among parents who remember when farm toys were

USDA Announces New Farm Loan Rates; Farmers Ask If Borrowing Money to Lose Money Qualifies as Growth Government lending officials offer agricultural producers affordable access to the privilege of owing more money. WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S.

Socialists Want Your Neighbor's Tractor Farm Policy Now Fits on One Photograph WASHINGTON, D.C. (Farm.FM) — Socialist agricultural strategists say they have found a winning formula for rural voters: locate a farmer who is struggling to pay

Mailbox remains available for questioning GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — A farmer who submitted photographs of hail damage has been asked whether any of the hail would be willing to sign a statement confirming it was present