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MADISON, Wis. — Cow show romance has overtaken dating apps as America’s most durable marriage market, according to the National Institute of Bovine Matrimony, an organization headquartered wherever somebody has left a clipboard. Its highly

LYRICS: Barbie Was Born in a Barn Parody by Bale Harrison & The Texas Field Hands Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger Barbie Was Born in a Barn -- She wasn’t raised in Malibu, no shiny pink Corvette... DOWNLOAD

Lyrics: Tumbleweed Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds Tumbleweed - DOWNLOAD (Verse 1) You blow in like the wind, never stayin’ long, Your restless heart's been wanderin' since the day you were born. No roots to hold you

A Champion Holstein Hires a Pageant Coach HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — A champion Holstein has hired a pageant coach after learning that dairy judging can involve careful scrutiny of her legs, frame and udder, and she

The Farmer Bale Harrison & The Field Hands (Parody of "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers) DOWNLOAD THE MP3 -- The Farmer Verse 1: On a warm summer's evening, on a tractor bound for nowhere, I met up with a farmer, we

AMARILLO, Texas | Tyson Foods announced a proposed partnership with rancher consortium Allied Beef and plans to restore full second-shift operations at its Amarillo beef plant by summer 2027. Select work is already being restored.

Georgia Farmers Demand Evening Gowns for Heifers DUBLIN, Georgia — The county livestock show blew up after local cattle producers found out that their prize heifers were being judged almost entirely on physical appearance, without getting

ABILENE, TEXAS — Cattle market analysts have announced an extraordinary new business strategy for American ranchers: raise fewer cattle, enjoy higher prices, then simply ignore the part where you have fewer cattle left to sell.

MADISON, WISCONSIN — American dairy processors are planning more than $15 billion in new plants and expansions, prompting dairy farmers to ask a difficult financial question: does the cow get a room in the new

LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles fired Mayor Karen Bass and hired City Councilmember Nithya Raman to rescue the city from the people running City Hall. Raman has served there since 2020. It is the first

The Herd Presents Its Workplace Agreement GREEN BAY, Wis. (Farm.FM) — Dairy farm cows have presented management with a new workplace agreement requiring better bedding, quieter fans, uninterrupted meals and five minutes a day without a

LEVELLAND, TEXAS. West Texas cotton and sorghum farmer Clyde “Straight Row” Mercer has announced that Britain needs better justice, Elon Musk needs a longer vocabulary, and Megyn Kelly needs to stop arguing with a jury

Couples Finally Agree the Cookies Should Be Divided Equally WICHITA FALLS, Texas - Marriage counselors have long believed that communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. Unfortunately, most married people communicate brilliantly until they are required

Gallia County Junior Fair: Goat in Tiara Claims the Barn Gallipolis Goat Declares Herself Princess Buttercup GALLIPOLIS, Ohio — The Gallia County Junior Fair has become the scene of a serious livestock monarchy after a 4-H goat

An $80,000 Entrance to a Dirt Road AMARILLO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A Texas rancher has unveiled an $80,000 ranch gate entrance featuring custom ironwork, limestone columns and solar-powered lighting, while the dirt road immediately beyond it

Brazoria County Fair 4-H Livestock Show: Pig Has Better Hair Than Family Angleton Parents Spend Hundreds on Show-Pig Shampoo ANGLETON, Texas — The Brazoria County Fair 4-H livestock show has become the scene of an escalating family

Farm.FM | Wichita Falls, Texas A 60-year-old Danish man has sued OpenAI after, he alleges, ChatGPT assured him that withholding rent would not cost him his apartment. He withheld payments, was evicted, and ended up staying

WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — Texas ranchers have discovered an exciting new agricultural commodity: Californians fleeing the political consequences of their previous relocation. Following the Democratic wave in Texas's 2026 elections, some conservative California transplants are considering

Pigs Demand Medal Ceremony Before Breakfast STILLWATER, Oklahoma — The county livestock show has gone into competitive athletics after organizers announced the inaugural Moo & Oink Olympics, a sporting event designed to determine whether American farm

SAN ANGELO, TEXAS — Texas cattle have officially entered the age of international diplomacy after New World screwworm controls prompted movement restrictions in affected counties. Ranchers are now measuring livestock trips in miles, inspections and

Scientists Discover Three Flavors Can Share a Carton Without Filing for Divorce OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Researchers have discovered that Neapolitan ice cream offers a remarkably effective solution to one of marriage's most persistent problems: the

Nevada Cows Accused of Causing Climate Change During Lunch ELKO, Nevada — A Nevada County Livestock Exhibition turned into an environmental standoff after a visiting sustainability consultant announced that cattle were contributing to climate change without

SIOUX CITY, IOWA — American soybean farmers celebrated a breathtaking diplomatic breakthrough Monday after China agreed to keep only part of the punishment. Beijing extended its trade truce for two months while maintaining an additional

Texas Fair Makes Every Champion File an Extension LUBBOCK, Texas — The county livestock show started a financial education program after organizers noticed that children were leaving the competition with valuable lessons about responsibility, animal husbandry,

AMARILLO, TEXAS — Tyson Foods says its Amarillo beef plant is moving toward a full second shift, leaving Texas ranchers stunned by an outrageous premise that economists had briefly forgotten: the meat industry works better

MILFORD, INDIANA — Farm families have begun preparing for Christmas with their favorite holiday tradition: setting the alarm for the same unreasonable hour and explaining to the children that cows have never signed the agreement

PENROSE, COLORADO — Apple farmers dealing with an early freeze have discovered an astonishing new agricultural product: the opportunity to charge tourists to look at trees that aren't producing apples. It is the first time

The Herd Eats a Balanced Ration; the Farmer Eats a Burrito LANCASTER, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — A dairy nutrition consultant has designed a precisely balanced diet for a herd of Holsteins whose owner ate a gas-station burrito

GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN — America's latest health craze has turned cottage cheese from a suspicious refrigerator resident into a social-media celebrity. The same nation that once covered the stuff with pineapple now blends it into

Oklahoma Steers Get a Final Performance Review OCA Steer Carcass Challenge Returns November 13 STILLWATER, Oklahoma — The OCA Steer Carcass Challenge in Payne County returns November 13, giving Oklahoma cattlemen a chance to spend thousands raising

Scientists Discover Boring Is the Secret to Marriage WICHITA FALLS, Texas - Marriage counselors have spent decades encouraging couples to communicate, compromise, and understand one another's emotional needs, apparently overlooking the possibility that the entire field