LEVELLAND, TEXAS. West Texas cotton and sorghum farmer Clyde “Straight Row” Mercer has announced that Britain needs better justice, Elon Musk needs a longer vocabulary, and Megyn Kelly needs to stop arguing with a jury

Couples Finally Agree the Cookies Should Be Divided Equally WICHITA FALLS, Texas - Marriage counselors have long believed that communication is the foundation of a successful relationship. Unfortunately, most married people communicate brilliantly until they are required

Gallia County Junior Fair: Goat in Tiara Claims the Barn Gallipolis Goat Declares Herself Princess Buttercup GALLIPOLIS, Ohio — The Gallia County Junior Fair has become the scene of a serious livestock monarchy after a 4-H goat

An $80,000 Entrance to a Dirt Road AMARILLO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A Texas rancher has unveiled an $80,000 ranch gate entrance featuring custom ironwork, limestone columns and solar-powered lighting, while the dirt road immediately beyond it

Brazoria County Fair 4-H Livestock Show: Pig Has Better Hair Than Family Angleton Parents Spend Hundreds on Show-Pig Shampoo ANGLETON, Texas — The Brazoria County Fair 4-H livestock show has become the scene of an escalating family

Farm.FM | Wichita Falls, Texas A 60-year-old Danish man has sued OpenAI after, he alleges, ChatGPT assured him that withholding rent would not cost him his apartment. He withheld payments, was evicted, and ended up staying

WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — Texas ranchers have discovered an exciting new agricultural commodity: Californians fleeing the political consequences of their previous relocation. Following the Democratic wave in Texas's 2026 elections, some conservative California transplants are considering

Pigs Demand Medal Ceremony Before Breakfast STILLWATER, Oklahoma — The county livestock show has gone into competitive athletics after organizers announced the inaugural Moo & Oink Olympics, a sporting event designed to determine whether American farm

SAN ANGELO, TEXAS — Texas cattle have officially entered the age of international diplomacy after New World screwworm controls prompted movement restrictions in affected counties. Ranchers are now measuring livestock trips in miles, inspections and

Scientists Discover Three Flavors Can Share a Carton Without Filing for Divorce OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Researchers have discovered that Neapolitan ice cream offers a remarkably effective solution to one of marriage's most persistent problems: the

Nevada Cows Accused of Causing Climate Change During Lunch ELKO, Nevada — A Nevada County Livestock Exhibition turned into an environmental standoff after a visiting sustainability consultant announced that cattle were contributing to climate change without

SIOUX CITY, IOWA — American soybean farmers celebrated a breathtaking diplomatic breakthrough Monday after China agreed to keep only part of the punishment. Beijing extended its trade truce for two months while maintaining an additional

Texas Fair Makes Every Champion File an Extension LUBBOCK, Texas — The county livestock show started a financial education program after organizers noticed that children were leaving the competition with valuable lessons about responsibility, animal husbandry,

AMARILLO, TEXAS — Tyson Foods says its Amarillo beef plant is moving toward a full second shift, leaving Texas ranchers stunned by an outrageous premise that economists had briefly forgotten: the meat industry works better

MILFORD, INDIANA — Farm families have begun preparing for Christmas with their favorite holiday tradition: setting the alarm for the same unreasonable hour and explaining to the children that cows have never signed the agreement

PENROSE, COLORADO — Apple farmers dealing with an early freeze have discovered an astonishing new agricultural product: the opportunity to charge tourists to look at trees that aren't producing apples. It is the first time

The Herd Eats a Balanced Ration; the Farmer Eats a Burrito LANCASTER, Pennsylvania (Farm.FM) — A dairy nutrition consultant has designed a precisely balanced diet for a herd of Holsteins whose owner ate a gas-station burrito

GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN — America's latest health craze has turned cottage cheese from a suspicious refrigerator resident into a social-media celebrity. The same nation that once covered the stuff with pineapple now blends it into

Scientists Discover Boring Is the Secret to Marriage WICHITA FALLS, Texas - Marriage counselors have spent decades encouraging couples to communicate, compromise, and understand one another's emotional needs, apparently overlooking the possibility that the entire field

WICHITA FALLS, TEXAS — The USDA has mailed out Farm Service Agency county committee election ballots, giving farmers the democratic privilege of choosing which respected neighbor will have to explain federal program decisions while standing

DES MOINES, IOWA — America’s corn growers are celebrating a historic agricultural achievement: the federal government has discovered they are capable of producing less of something other than disposable income. The celebration began after the

The Arch Costs More Than Everything Behind It ABILENE, Texas (Farm.FM) — A ranch entrance arch costing $70,000 has been completed at a cattle operation currently holding $25,000 worth of livestock, giving its owner the most

EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN — Dairy farmers have become the world's most reluctant experts on tariff policy after another round of U.S.–Canada dairy restrictions turned milk into a diplomatic weapon. Their central question remains heartbreakingly simple:

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional leaders have once again demonstrated that a farm bill can be discussed longer than a farmer can operate without diesel, credit, groceries or a working hydraulic hose. Lawmakers have mastered the

California Students Learn More Economics From Pigs Than Textbooks BAKERSFIELD, California — A California County Junior Livestock Exhibition has stirred up an argument after several students announced that raising pigs taught them more about practical economics

Rich Enough for the Broker, Too Poor for the Banker SAN ANGELO, Texas (Farm.FM) — A new ranch profitability study has concluded that ranchers are wealthy enough to impress a real-estate broker, poor enough to frighten

The Vocabulary Outgrows the Cow That Inspired It ATHENS, Georgia (Farm.FM) — A county fair's dairy judging terms have become so elaborate that one cow refused an oral examination and demanded a copy of the tax

Sixty Cows Fit, Assuming Grass, Water and Weather Cooperate CHILDRESS, Texas (Farm.FM) — A ranch stocking rates calculator informed cattleman Wade Harker that his pasture could support sixty cows, provided he had sufficient grass, water and