The Cows Ate the Wreath
Performed by Debbie “Hayride” Harper & The Prairie Songbirds
The Cows Ate the Wreath – DOWNLOAD
[Verse 1]
I hung it on the front gate, a symbol of cheer,
Holly, pine, and berries to spread joy this year.
But my cows had other plans—they were ready to feast,
Now my holiday décor’s become a cow pie at least.
[Chorus]
The cows ate the wreath, and now it’s gone,
They turned Christmas cheer into a grazing song.
I thought it was festive, they thought it was feed,
Now my yuletide spirit’s on the ground by a tree.
[Verse 2]
It cost thirty bucks, but they didn’t care,
Turned my fancy wreath into an eatin’ affair.
They didn’t touch the hay stacked up in the barn,
But the wreath on the gate? Oh, it had its charm.
[Chorus]
The cows ate the wreath, and now it’s gone,
They turned Christmas cheer into a grazing song.
I thought it was festive, they thought it was feed,
Now my yuletide spirit’s on the ground by a tree.
[Bridge]
I told them, “Do not eat the Christmas wreath!”
But now I see holly stuck in Bessie’s teeth.
Forget the neighbors or the folks driving by,
It’s a cow’s five-star meal, and I’m left asking, “Why?”
[Verse 3]
The frame’s all that’s left, hanging sad on the post,
It’s my holiday ghost, or a snack at most.
Next year, I’ll save cash, skip the wreath routine,
Just put out a hay bale with a bow and some green.
[Chorus]
The cows ate the wreath, and now it’s gone,
They turned Christmas cheer into a grazing song.
I thought it was festive, they thought it was feed,
Now my yuletide spirit’s on the ground by a tree.
[Outro]
So here’s a Christmas tip for you country folks,
Your cows will eat wreaths—it’s no holiday hoax.
Just laugh it off, grab a warm cup of tea,
And remember: farm life ain’t Pinterest-ready.
Music and Lyrics by Alan Nafzger
Songwriter’s Notes:
- You thought it was a festive decoration; the cows saw it as the world’s fanciest salad bar.
- Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a cow burping up holly leaves.
- The neighbors don’t care about your wreath, but now the cows expect appetizers before dinner.
- It’s not “holiday spirit” if the cows are chewing it.
- You paid $30 for a wreath, and the cows turned it into a $2 hay snack.
- Who knew cows had such sophisticated taste in seasonal décor?
- “Do not eat the Christmas wreath!” sounds like a ridiculous rule—until you live on a farm.
- They don’t touch the hay bales in the barn, but suddenly the wreath is fine dining.
- Forget barnyard animals; you’re apparently hosting wreath connoisseurs.
- Next year, just put out a bale of alfalfa with a bow on it—it’s cheaper and more appreciated.
- The cows think the wreath is a giant, edible participation ribbon.
- Every time someone sees the wreath, it’s smaller than before—because Bessie strikes again.
- You hung it up for the holiday spirit; now it’s down to the wire frame and a very smug cow.
- “The cows ate my Christmas decorations” doesn’t feel like a valid excuse, but here we are.
- On a farm, even your festive flair ends up on the menu.
Last Updated on November 18, 2024 by Alan Nafzger