A Comedy of Crops: Farm Forage Frenzy

Short on forages?

Alternative Forages for Farmers

Farming in the Midwest these past few years has felt like participating in an extreme weather version of “Survivor.” First, a drought so intense even cacti were feeling parched, and now, enough rain to make Noah think about upgrading his ark. As farmers dodge floods and droughts, they’re turning to alternative forages to keep their cows content and their sanity intact. Let’s dive into this agricultural comedy of errors.

Droughts and Floods: Mother Nature’s Reality Show

Midwest farmers know a thing or two about resilience. They’ve had to endure the kind of weather plot twists that would make a soap opera jealous. Last year, it was all about praying for rain. This year, they’re considering building water wings for the cows. The cycle of drought followed by floods is less of a natural disaster and more of a practical joke from Mother Nature herself.

Corn: Planting Hope Mid-July

Imagine deciding to plant corn in mid-July. It’s like starting your New Year’s resolution diet at a friend’s birthday party – hopeful but doomed. According to the farm oracle, Matt Lippert, this corn still holds the promise of a bountiful yield. But getting it dry might involve more prayer than practicality. Maybe windrowing or freezing it will work, or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

Soybeans: Double or Nothing

Double the soybean population, double the fun, right? Well, not exactly. It’s more like double the stress and double the insurance forms. Soybeans might offer a late-season lifeline, but they’re also the agricultural equivalent of doubling down on a shaky hand in poker. It’s a gamble, and farmers are hoping for a full house rather than a bust.

Warm-Season Grasses: The Last-Minute Saviors

Warm-season grasses are the late RSVPs to the farming party. They’re like those friends who decide last minute to show up and expect to be the center of attention. They perform best in dry weather, which may or may not happen. But if the rain stops, they’ll be there, ready to save the day – or at least pretend to.

Weeds: The Unwelcome Guests

Planting these grasses without a herbicide program is like opening a farm to a free-for-all weed party. They’ll crash the field and make themselves at home. The key is to deal with them before they get too comfortable, or you’ll be left wondering who invited them in the first place.

Winter Cereals: The Overachievers

Triticale, rye, and winter wheat are the valedictorians of the crop world. They get a late start but still manage to outperform everyone else. Plant them in late August, and they’ll reward you with a bumper crop. It’s like they’re on extra credit assignments while other crops are still figuring out basic arithmetic.

Fall Oats: Quality Over Quantity

Fall oats don’t bother with the formalities of producing seedheads. They’re just here for a good time, not a long time. Plant them after mid-August, and they’ll provide high-quality feed by November. It’s the ultimate lazy crop, delivering the goods without the hassle.

Mixtures: The Farm’s Smorgasbord

Mixing different types of crops is like creating a farm-to-table fusion restaurant. It could be a gourmet success or a total disaster. Fall-planted oats with triticale? Sure, why not! Throw in some warm-season grasses and legumes for good measure. It’s all about variety and hoping something sticks – or grows.

Alfalfa: The August Achiever

Planting alfalfa in August is the early bird getting the worm. It’s peaceful, it’s productive, and it’s got a head start on next spring. Establish it in the first half of August, and you won’t need to worry about nurse crops or herbicides. It’s like having your morning coffee before the chaos begins.

The Farm Oracle Speaks

Matt Lippert is the Yoda of the Wisconsin Extension service. When he speaks, farmers listen. His advice on planting strategies is gospel. If he says there’s still time to plant, you plant. No questions asked. His knowledge is the stuff of legend, and his guidance is what keeps the farming world turning.

Conclusion: Farming’s Fantastic Follies

In the end, farming is all about adapting to whatever curveball nature throws next. Whether it’s drought, floods, or just plain bad luck, farmers find a way to make it work. They’re planting late, doubling down on soybeans, and experimenting with crop mixtures like culinary artists. It’s a high-stakes game of trial and error, and they’re playing to win.

Disclaimer: The Collaboration

This article is the result of a completely human collaboration between a cowboy and a farmer. Any resemblance to practical farming advice is purely coincidental and should be taken with a grain of salt – preferably the kind that’s good for margaritas.

15 Educational Observations on Alternative Feeds for Farmers

1. The Drought and Flood Shuffle

Drought one year, floods the next – it’s like Mother Nature’s way of playing farm bingo. “O-63, anybody? No? Just me? Well, better plant some sorghum-sudangrass then!”

2. Corn: The Optimist’s Crop

Planting corn in mid-July is like starting your diet on Christmas Eve. Sure, it might work, but you’ll be watching the skies and praying for a miracle.

3. Soybeans: Double Trouble

Soybeans at double the population? More like doubling the farmer’s stress levels. They say it’s for higher yield, but it’s really just for higher blood pressure.

4. Warm-Season Grasses: The Last-Minute Guests

Warm-season grasses are like the friends who RSVP late to your party – they show up last minute and still expect to be the life of the field.

5. Weeds: The Uninvited Party Crashers

Planting warm-season grasses without a herbicide program is like inviting weeds to the farm’s open bar. They’ll show up in droves, uninvited, and have a great time.

6. Winter Cereals: The Overachievers

Triticale, rye, and winter wheat are the straight-A students of the farm. They get planted late, but somehow, they still turn in the best projects by spring.

7. Fall Oats: The Late Bloomers

Fall oats don’t bother with producing a seedhead – they’re just here for a good time, not a long time. “Harvest me in November, and I’ll be high-quality, promise.”

8. Mixtures: The Farm’s Fusion Cuisine

Mixing warm-season grasses, legumes, and Italian ryegrass is like a farm-to-table fusion restaurant. It’s either going to be a gourmet success or a Pinterest fail.

9. Alfalfa in August: The Early Riser

Planting alfalfa in August is like getting up early on a Sunday – it’s peaceful, productive, and your neighbors wonder what you’re up to.

10. Matt Lippert: The Oracle of Forages

Matt Lippert from the University of Wisconsin Extension is like the farm’s very own Oracle of Delphi. If he says plant it, you plant it, no questions asked.

11. Crop Insurance: The Farm’s Safety Net

Considering crop insurance with late-planted corn and soybeans is like taking out insurance on your insurance. Because, you know, farming isn’t stressful enough.

12. Weather: The Ultimate Prankster

Weather forecasts for farmers are like prank calls – you never know if it’s going to be a drought, a flood, or both in the same week.

13. Heifers and Steers: The Picky Eaters

Feeding heifers and steers lower-quality alfalfa is like trying to get a toddler to eat their veggies. They’ll make a mess, but eventually, they’ll eat it.

14. Dairy Cows: The Prima Donnas

Dairy cows are the prima donnas of the farm world. Only the best quality alfalfa for them, thank you very much.

15. Fran O’Leary: The Farm’s Gossip Columnist

Fran O’Leary, the Wisconsin Agriculturist Senior Editor, is the Perez Hilton of farming news. If it’s happening on the farm, she’s got the scoop.