Ranch Dog Runs for Mayor, Wins by Licking Ballots

Old Dusty the Heeler, blue-gray and proud,
Wandered into town, barkin’ real loud.
The mayor was crooked, the council all lame,
So Dusty declared, “I’m enterin’ the game!”
No speeches were made, no debates to be seen,
Just tail wags and sniffs and a stance real keen.
He licked every ballot like it was steak,
And voters said, “Hell, give the dog a break!”
By Tuesday at noon, results rolled in,
Dusty beat four humans and a possum named Finn.
His platform was simple–no more cat laws,
And every hydrant gets a standing ovation and pause.
He howled at corruption, barked out fraud,
Peed on red tape and the tax audit squad.
The city folk whined, “This is insane!”
But the country cheered from the cattle lane.
He herded the council, bit one who lied,
Then chased lobbyists out with a barkin’ stride.
Now Dusty’s in office, wears a hat and a star,
And chases off SUVs that park too far.
They say his bark brings justice near,
And his approval rating? Ninety-seven percent–clear!

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on July 20, 2025 by Alan Nafzger