Local Rancher Rebrands Cow Manure as “Artisan Earth Butter,” Sells Out in Austin
Ma giggled, “They’re rubbin’ dung on toast.”
Pa said, “For thirty bucks a post!”
He bottled cow pies with rustic flair,
And called it “Earth Butter,” boutique and rare.
“Gluten-free, grass-fed, paleo pooh,”
Said the label in vegan-friendly hue.
Hipsters lined up from dusk till dawn,
To spread it thick on croissant lawn.
“It detoxes my chakra and colon,”
Said Chad, influencer, barely swollen.
Now manure is haute couture,
And ranchers profit off urban poor.
Back home we just call it crap,
But with a logo, it’s a five-star app.
Who knew bovine bowel arts,
Could outprice even Napa tarts?
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)
Last Updated on September 26, 2026 by Alan Nafzger