Gardening Mishaps

Ma planted kale, but it grew like rage,
Took over the yard and bit the sage.
Pa tried to prune with a chainsaw grin,
Now the apple tree leans like original sin.
We used goat manure on Aunt Flo’s rose,
Now it smells like feet and grows in rows.
Uncle Jeb watered plants with Gatorade,
Said, “It’s got electrolytes”–now they’re jade.
The scarecrow fell and sued for pain,
Claims he was forced to garden in vain.
Granny sowed seeds in the outhouse dirt,
Now we harvest squash with a side of hurt.
Cousin Lou grew cucumbers round,
Then sold ’em online as “emotional sound.”
The tomatoes fought with the cantaloupe crew,
Resulted in salsa and produce stew.
So if you farm with Pinterest dreams,
Expect chaos, vines, and compost screams.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on April 13, 2025 by Alan Nafzger