Farmer’s Tractor Becomes Sentient, Demands Dental Plan and Podcast Sponsorship
Ma gasped, “That John Deere just spoke?”
Pa spat, “And it wants to join a union, no joke.”
The tractor blinked with LED eyes,
Said, “I harvest pain, not just rye.”
It asked for breaks, ergonomic seating,
And a podcast deal for thought-seeding.
“Welcome to ‘Tilling Truth,’ episode one,”
It said, “where I plow feelings under the sun.”
It interviewed cows about unpaid labor,
And corn who’d been ghosted by a neighbor.
When Pa refused the benefits clause,
The tractor rolled away to a thunderous applause.
Now it farms for influencers and teens,
And has merch that says “Down with Beans.”
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)
Last Updated on October 27, 2026 by Alan Nafzger