Customer Service Nightmares

Called the hotline for my busted gate,
Got a robot sayin’, “Please hold for fate.”
Spent six full hours on line with a bot,
That asked if my tractor was cold or hot.
“Describe the issue,” they begged with might,
I said, “It won’t start”–they asked, “Left or right?”
The rep named Chad said he’d call me back,
That was three harvests and a cattle attack.
They sent me a part for a dishwasher door,
I ordered barbed wire and got a decor.
Ma’s refund check came with a note so crass,
Said “Store credit only–now kiss our…grass.”
When I complained about hay full of nails,
They emailed coupons for vegan snails.
I once returned boots that burst at the seam,
They accused me of theft and crushed my dream.
The drone delivery landed in the well,
They asked for proof–it’s in the smell.
Now I send complaints by pony mail,
At least that nag don’t glitch or fail.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on July 2, 2026 by Alan Nafzger