Cow Invents Yoga Trend Called “Moo-scle Mindfulness,” Causes Stampede at First Retreat

Ma bent low in denim tights,
Pa mooed loud in candlelight.
Lou livestreamed each sacred pose,
Granny farted mid-cow-toe-nose.
The cow led chants from barn-top mat,
“Exhale stress, now chew your fat.”
The preacher cried mid-Moo Salute,
“Lord, I’m healed–and oddly cute!”
Stretchin’ udders, twistin’ tails,
Yoga mats made out of bales.
City girls paid ten grand each,
For cow-led zen and preachy speech.
Downward Bull and Holy Heifer,
Sweaty folks got limber clever.
Then one goat slipped in Namaste,
And caused a moo-stampede buffet.
Now Moo-scle Mindfulness sells out fast,
A bovine guru with a yoga class.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on April 23, 2025 by Alan Nafzger