Crop Circle Found in Corn Field Spells "Y'ALL NEED JESUS" The sheriff said it's just teens drunk,But preachers saw divine-type funk."Aliens come, but only preach,"They whispered loud at Sunday speech.The crop was swirled like Baptist

Rearview Mirror Rearview MirrorA Cowboy Poem by Alan NafzgerBy the time you figure out what really mattered most,it's usually three exits back and fading like a ghost.You see it in the mirror getting smaller as

Quarantine Life Day one we baked, day two we slept,By day three, Pa's beard had crept.We Zoomed with cows and called it school,The goat passed math, while I played pool.Ma taught yoga to the hens

Rooster Becomes Life Coach for Burned-Out City Yuppies, Offers Dawn Screams and Worm Rituals Ma asked, "He screamin' for money now?"Pa smirked, "He healed a hedge fund cow."In yoga pants they gathered 'round,While Rooster shrieked

Mispronounced Words Granny said "jalapeño" like "jolly pee-no,"Then served it to guests with a glass of mer-lot-o.Pa once called "croissant" a "cruss-ant,"Said it proud while wearin' plaid pants.Ma shouted "foe-kah-cha" in church potluck,Folks thought she'd

Sheep Start Tech Startup, Invent App That Translates Bleats to Feelings Ma blinked twice at neon fence,"They've coded apps, it don't make sense!"Pa grinned, "They're funded by the goats,"While Lou took notes on sheepy quotes.The

Possessed Farm Equipment The tractor spoke in tongues at dawn,Ran in circles, then mowed the lawn.The combine whispered in German slang,Harvested socks and chicken tang.Granny's blender spun out hymn and doom,Blended holy water, lit up

Texas Politician Tries Farming for a Day, Accidentally Declares War on Chickens Ma said, "He wore his suit to muck the coop."Pa muttered, "City folks ain't worth chicken poop."He strutted in with a press team

Bees Unionize, Demand Healthcare and Less Lavender Overtime Ma warned, "Them buzzers are organizin'!"Pa moaned, "They're holdin' signs and strategizin'.""No pollen, no peace!" was the cry,As bees picketed under summer sky.The queen wore pearls and

Local Conspiracy Theories Pa says the mayor's a lizard in disguise,Eats flies at lunch and never blinks his eyes.Ma swears the cows are spyin' on kin,Moo twice for no and once to let sin in.Granny

Cowboy Brings Emotional Support Chicken to Rodeo, Wins Buckle and Hearts He strode in tall, his hat was wide,With a chicken nestled by his side."This here's Loretta," he said with pride,"She clucks me calm before

Navigating the Haywire Market: From Feedstock to Fashionista Baleful Decisions: The Stylish Dilemma of Modern Hay The Great Straw Poll: Hay's Ascent to Artisanal Stardom In the heart of Lubbock, Texas, a groundbreaking straw poll revealed that 98%

Cowboys Start Book Club, Accidentally Reinvent Drinking Circle They gathered 'round with leather spines,Not cattle brands but Faulkner lines."We'll read," said Tex, "and grow our minds--No whiskey 'til page fifty-nine."But metaphors bred thirst and doubt,And

Conspiracy Theories Pa swears the cows are spyin' for Mars,He caught one blinkin' in Morse from afar.Uncle Roy says the rooster's a fed,With a wire taped right to his head.Ma thinks the corn listens in

Mysterious Crop Circles Pa woke up to a cornfield maze,Said, "Either aliens or Jeb's drunk phase."Ma blamed teens with a lawnmower grudge,But the tracks were clean--no tread to judge.Granny claimed angels danced last night,But one

August Conscience August ConscienceA Cowboy Poem by Alan NafzgerThink you can outrun a bad decision, go ahead and try,but do it in August under a west Texas sky.The heat'll hit you sideways before you find

City Folk Try Homesteading, Mistake Rooster for Smart Thermostat, Freeze to Death Ma chuckled, "They thought he had Wi-Fi?"Pa said, "They asked if he charged via the sky."Rooster glared from atop the coop,As yuppies froze

Sheep Launch Fashion Line, Refuse to Be Sheared They strutted out in wool couture,Declaring fleece was now mature.Ma said, "Ain't that our winter coat?"Pa grumbled, "That's my Sunday tote!"Lou snapped pics for Sheep Vogue mag,While