Local Conspiracy Theories
Pa says the mayor’s a lizard in disguise,
Eats flies at lunch and never blinks his eyes.
Ma swears the cows are spyin’ on kin,
Moo twice for no and once to let sin in.
Granny thinks the scarecrow leads a cult,
They meet at dusk and chant insult.
Uncle Jeb’s sure Wi-Fi’s a curse,
Says it shrinks brains and spoils the horse.
Cousin Lou claims the rooster’s wired,
Tweets our secrets when he gets inspired.
The preacher preaches that clouds ain’t real,
Just smoke from feds tryin’ to steal our meal.
One man says the moon’s just a screen,
Hidin’ aliens who eat our beans.
Even the dog wears foil on his head,
And growls at Alexa till he’s fed.
So if you question the price of corn,
Just know Big Tractor’s been watchin’ since morn.
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)
Last Updated on November 24, 2020 by Alan Nafzger