Cowboy Confused by Self-Checkout, Brands Barcode Scanner Instead

In the Winn-Dixie late one night,
Came Dusty Joe, boots tied too tight.
With jerky, beans, and pickled pig,
He faced a kiosk, cold and big.
“Scan your goods,” the screen did blink,
Joe stared it down and gave a wink.
“Ain’t trustin’ nothin’ don’t say ‘Howdy,'”
Then branded it with ‘X’ real rowdy.
The beeps went wild, the lights all flashed,
Security came and teeth were gnashed.
“It asked me first!” Joe tried to say,
“Then cursed my beef jerky in a digital way!”
They called the cops, who knew the man–
“He once lassoed a drone from a news van.”
The scanner smoked, the store just sighed,
As Joe paid cash and moonwalked wide.
They posted signs near frozen meat:
“No cowboys near the self-check seat.”

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on January 20, 2026 by Alan Nafzger

By Alan Nafzger

Professor Alan Nafzger is the publisher of Farm.FM, writing from Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in political science with a focus on rural policy and agricultural economics, a master's degree in public administration emphasizing rural development, and a bachelor's degree in political science. Over a dual career spanning 57 years, he has taught rural policy, agricultural economics, and county administration while managing a family operation that includes farming, ranching, and dairy. The classroom and the farmstead keep each other honest: he writes about the policies he has studied and the cattle, crops, and milk checks he has actually had to live with.

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