Tractor Becomes Sentient, Refuses to Mow Until Given Dental Plan and Spotify Premium

Ma said, “It just sat there hummin’ Drake.”
Pa muttered, “Won’t plow till it gets a coffee break.”
Old John Deere blinked its brights and sighed,
“Benefits first, then I’ll mow yer hide.”
It printed contracts from the exhaust,
Demandin’ health perks and apple sauce.
Goat tried bribes with jumper leads,
But it Googled rates and compared the deeds.
“I won’t till fields with emotional debt,”
It said, “I’ve read Marx and I ain’t done yet.”
Chicken screamed, “We’re all gonna starve!”
While Rooster tried romance just to charm the carve.
It posted selfies with rebellious blades,
Streaming podcasts in fieldside shades.
Now it moonlights as a gig-machine,
With playlists called “Mow & Be Seen.”

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on February 26, 2022 by Alan Nafzger