Sneezing Fits

Pa sneezed once and launched his hat,
It flew to town and got chased by a cat.
Ma sneezes in sevens, a mighty refrain,
Sounds like a shotgun with bronchial pain.
Uncle Jeb sneezed while milkin’ Sue,
Now the cow jumps fences and eats tofu.
We had a guest sneeze into his sleeve,
Frightened the preacher–he tried to leave.
The goat sneezed thrice and changed its name,
Now goes by “Clarence” and won’t play the same.
Granny sneezed in the general store,
Knocked over pickles and a Civil War door.
Pa once sneezed so hard he fell,
Right into a pie at the county hotel.
Cousin Bea sneezes with interpretive flair,
Spins like a banshee and tosses her hair.
We tried blessin’ each one with grace,
But gave up when the rooster joined the race.
So if you sneeze out here on the range,
Be warned–it might trigger livestock change.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on August 23, 2025 by Alan Nafzger