Politician Falls in Cow Pie, Declares It a Subsidy

He came in boots too clean to trust,
With promises thick as panhandle dust.
Shook hands like he was baling hay,
Though he thought corn grew on eBay.
He climbed a fence to wave real wide,
Then stepped where ol’ Bessie last did slide.
The crowd went still, then roared with glee,
As he slipped in cow pie–patriotically.
“This here,” he said, with a cowboy nod,
“Is natural wealth direct from God!”
He called it rural bio-goo,
And pitched it to the USDA crew.
“Let’s spread this far, coast to coast!”
(While wiping poop off his campaign post.)
Reporters asked, “Do you regret the fall?”
He winked, “It’s how I connect with y’all.”
Next week a bill came down the line:
“Emergency Poop Prosperity Pipeline.”
Now every rancher, slick with pride,
Claims subsidies from the poop that’s dried.
Just pray your cow don’t miss its mark,
Or you’ll fund a senator’s biodiesel arc.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on December 8, 2022 by Alan Nafzger