Haunted Houses

We got a house past the pumpkin patch,
Where doors creak open without a latch.
The floorboards moan like a Baptist choir,
And Pa swears the attic’s breathin’ fire.
The fridge spells “LEAVE” with expired cheese,
While the toilet flushes in ghostly tease.
Granny says she saw a cow float through,
But she also drinks moonshine in Mountain Dew.
The walls bleed ketchup ’round Halloween,
Turns out it’s just Billy’s prank cuisine.
We hired a psychic with crystals and flair,
The ghost slapped her wig and vanished in air.
Now city folk come with cameras and fear,
But leave cryin’ when the goats disappear.
The mayor declared it a cursed town gem,
Then tripped on a rake and blamed it on “them.”
We charge ten bucks for a haunted tour,
Free if ya scream before reachin’ the door.
It ain’t evil, just quirky and loud,
Like Pa when he snores beneath thunderclouds.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on November 21, 2024 by Alan Nafzger