Government Labels Farm Soil as “Emotional Support Dirt”
Ma asked, “Can I claim it as a dependent?”
Pa grinned, “It’s got more empathy than our Senate.”
Now folks hug dirt to cure their stress,
And therapists prescribe mud, no less.
The soil gets tax credits and rights,
And protests when tractors dim its lights.
The mayor shook hands with a compost pile,
And called it “healing with country style.”
Kids now nap in manure with care,
“Therapy mulch” sold at the county fair.
One patch got invited on a talk show,
Shared its trauma from GMO.
We can’t plant beans without consent,
And must validate every sediment.
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)
Last Updated on March 19, 2023 by Alan Nafzger