Cowboy Influencer Starts YouTube Channel, Teaches Calves to Square Dance to Dubstep
Ma muttered, “He’s got a ring light on his saddle?”
Pa grinned, “And autotunes every cattle rattle.”
He spun lassos with LED flair,
While goats dapped mid-air.
“What’s up y’all!” he’d holler with yeehaw zest,
“Today we floss with your livestock best!”
He taught cows to dougie through the dusk,
And sold merch: “Beef Beats or Bust.”
Rooster DJ’d sunrise drops,
While sheep moonwalked through milking stops.
His TikToks raked in corn and coin,
Though Grandma called it “Satan’s groin.”
Now city kids dab in boots too wide,
And cattle get gigs on the influencer side.
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)
Last Updated on June 1, 2026 by Alan Nafzger