Armadillo Launches Dating App, Matches Farmers by Tractor Brand and Hat Size

Ma swiped left on a Case IH man,
Pa got matched with a John Deere stan.
Lou made ten profiles for fun,
Granny found love with a dude named “Gun.”
App’s called “PlowMates”–hot as hay,
Filters for boots and baling pay.
You pick your soil zone, cows per acre,
Then rate each photo’s feedlot quaker.
One cowboy matched with his own steer,
Preacher matched thrice–then fled in fear.
Each date begins with “Do you brand?”
And ends with tractor races on demand.
City folks tried but got rejected,
For lacking boots and being too connected.
Now Armadillo’s rolling rich,
While rural hearts find perfect pitch.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on July 15, 2021 by Alan Nafzger

By Alan Nafzger

Professor Alan Nafzger is the publisher of Farm.FM, writing from Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in political science with a focus on rural policy and agricultural economics, a master's degree in public administration emphasizing rural development, and a bachelor's degree in political science. Over a dual career spanning 57 years, he has taught rural policy, agricultural economics, and county administration while managing a family operation that includes farming, ranching, and dairy. The classroom and the farmstead keep each other honest: he writes about the policies he has studied and the cattle, crops, and milk checks he has actually had to live with.

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