Apocalypse Meow
Performed by Whiskey Wind & The Prairie Boys
(Verse 1)
It was a quiet night in the old barn loft,
Didn’t see that sphynx crouched in the hay so soft.
Out jumps Eric, like a bat outta hell,
And the next thing I knew, I was mid-air and fell.
(Chorus)
Apocalypse Mee-ow, that cat had it planned,
When a barn cat’s the boss, better watch where you stand.
With “Paws of Destruction” and claws in the night,
Took me down like a crash, knocked me clear outta sight.
(Verse 2)
They say cats are trouble, but this is the worst,
Broken bones and bruises like a spell was cursed.
That kitty just purred while I lay in the straw,
Left me wrecked like a wreckin’ ball of claw.
(Chorus)
Apocalypse Mee-ow, laid out on the floor,
Fourteen hours later, wife’s through the door.
She found me in the barn, barely alive,
While Eric sat there, watchin’ me die.
(Bridge)
Forget home insurance, get barn-cat clause,
‘Cause Eric’s got balls that defy all laws.
Fourteen hours, laid flat in pain,
While that kitty just curled up, feelin’ no shame.
(Verse 3)
The doc said I’m lucky, near bent outta shape,
That sphynx sat smug like a cat with no scrape.
They hauled me away to the trauma ER,
While Eric stayed back like a cold-hearted barn star.
(Chorus)
Apocalypse Meow, guess “barn cat” means boss,
That purrin’ rascal left me at a loss.
From “Hello Kitty” to Grim Reapurr fast,
Guess barn cats are tougher than I could’ve asked.
(Bridge 2)
Now they’ve started a fund to get me back,
Can’t work the tractor, can’t handle the slack.
I’m breathin’ through tubes, flat on my back,
All ‘cause Eric thought, “Let’s do an attack.”
(Verse 4)
So here’s a warning for folks in the sticks,
Barn cats don’t play when they’re up to tricks.
They’re sweet, they’re sly, they’ll purr on your knee,
Then trip you up with pure feline glee.
(Outro)
Apocalypse Meow, I’m down to one life,
That barn yard terror’s now my ball and strife.
So if your barn cat starts creepin’ around,
Get ready, or they’ll knock you clear down.
Lyrics and Music by Alan Nafzger
Last Updated on November 2, 2024 by Alan Nafzger