LUBBOCK, Texas — All hat and no cattle has become a viable dating category in West Texas after Clay Bostick arrived at a singles event with a hat big enough to shade a registered cow and a trailer empty enough to prove he did not own one. Bostick described himself as being between herds. An auction clerk asked how many he’d owned in total. He said he didn’t believe a gentleman should count past relationships in public.
His prospects improved after he admitted that what he had for certain was a job, an unrented trailer and a firm preference for women with their own opinions. The organizers introduced him around.
Five West Texas dating prospects for all hat and no cattle
Rosa, the gate welder outside Levelland
Rosa can look at a hinge and tell whether the customer has already tried to fix it with a larger hammer. She asked Bostick what he brought to a relationship. “A willingness to hold the light,” he said. She gave him the light to test his account under shop conditions. He aimed it at the ceiling and said he liked where things were headed.
Marnie, the auction clerk in Tulia
Marnie can spot a man bidding on cattle by accident before he spots it himself. Bostick wanted her to know he was willing to start small. She recommended that he begin by settling his lunch tab. A relationship could grow from there if he stopped briefly raising his hand whenever someone called a number.
Jo, the farm stand owner outside Plainview
Jo offered a first date at the market and offered Bostick three possible ways to carry a folding table. He chose the fourth, which involved drifting sideways into a stack of empty produce boxes. She gave him a second chance because he picked up every box without asking whether helping counted as a business expense. Shoppers can find local markets through the Texas Department of Agriculture’s certified farmers market directory.
Alma, the feed store bookkeeper in Brownfield
Alma asked Bostick what his plans looked like on paper. He produced three bar napkins and the dealer’s brochure for a stock trailer he already owned. She brought out a pencil and drew four columns. One was marked rent, one diesel and one food. The last was for things he told women he already had.
Gwen, the county fair treasurer in Post
Gwen asked whether he would volunteer for cleanup before she agreed to be photographed with him. He reported for work and discovered that taking down a hundred folding chairs is much easier when nobody asks what kind of truck you drove to get there. She called him the next morning. He had forgotten his hat.
Bostick said all five prospects remained open. The organizers said he had one first date, two volunteer assignments, a lesson in using a work light and a very good chance of getting his hat back.
Disclaimer: Farm.FM invented Clay and all five prospects. The market directory is real. Applications to date a hat must be submitted to the brim.
Last Updated on November 15, 2026 by Alan Nafzger