Farmer’s Hat Gains Sentience, Runs for School Board

Ma said, “That Stetson just quoted Twain!”
Pa blinked, “And it’s campaignin’ on the grain.”
The old hat perched with wisdom vast,
Taught ethics class and grilled the past.
It wore glasses and a tiny tie,
And made speeches under open sky.
“Kids need tractors and discipline,” it roared,
Then banned calculators and praise rewards.
It debated a boot for County Lead,
And won with charm and conservative creed.
Now it governs from atop the pole,
Readin’ bylaws from a chicken roll.
We raise crops, but vote for hats,
‘Cause politicians ain’t got felt like that.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on February 18, 2023 by Alan Nafzger

By Alan Nafzger

Professor Alan Nafzger is the publisher of Farm.FM, writing from Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in political science with a focus on rural policy and agricultural economics, a master's degree in public administration emphasizing rural development, and a bachelor's degree in political science. Over a dual career spanning 57 years, he has taught rural policy, agricultural economics, and county administration while managing a family operation that includes farming, ranching, and dairy. The classroom and the farmstead keep each other honest: he writes about the policies he has studied and the cattle, crops, and milk checks he has actually had to live with.

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