Spam Emails
I checked my inbox at half past three,
Had a prince from Ghana wantin’ to marry me.
Got a deal on boots for “men of pride,”
Clicked once—now ten ads follow me outside.
One email screamed, “Grow corn real tall!”
Another said, “You’ve inherited a mall!”
The preacher got hacked, now he sells meat,
And Ma’s PayPal wants her cousin’s feet.
Pa clicked a link for a tractor prize,
Now we own NFTs of cow-shaped pies.
One claimed I was wanted in Peru,
For “excessive yeehaw”—and maybe it’s true.
A coupon offered free barn repairs,
Just needed my soul and social affairs.
The FBI wrote in Comic Sans,
Said I owed fines for illegal yams.
I blocked, I filtered, I even swore,
But the emails come like a guilt-filled chore.
So if you write and don’t get a reply,
I’m still sortin’ offers to milk the sky.
Last Updated on June 26, 2025 by Alan Nafzger