Drunken Livestock

Pa’s mule broke into the moonshine shed,
Woke up wearin’ Ma’s nightgown in bed.
The rooster sipped from a spiked corn brew,
Then challenged dawn and forgot to cue.
Granny’s pig rolled through the grape mash vat,
Snored hymns and drooled on the welcome mat.
Uncle Jeb’s goat guzzled two whole jars,
Staggered ’round hollerin’ “I hate cars!”
Cousin Lou found the sheep in a daze,
Twerked on a haystack to Reba’s praise.
The preacher’s cow drank communion wine,
Gave confessions in perfect rhyme.
Ma’s duck passed out in the trough,
Woke up French and flew right off.
Now we lock the still and count our jars,
‘Cause our barn’s got more bars than Mars.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on December 1, 2022 by Alan Nafzger

By Alan Nafzger

Professor Alan Nafzger is the publisher of Farm.FM, writing from Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in political science with a focus on rural policy and agricultural economics, a master's degree in public administration emphasizing rural development, and a bachelor's degree in political science. Over a dual career spanning 57 years, he has taught rural policy, agricultural economics, and county administration while managing a family operation that includes farming, ranching, and dairy. The classroom and the farmstead keep each other honest: he writes about the policies he has studied and the cattle, crops, and milk checks he has actually had to live with.

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