DIY Home Improvement

Pa built a porch with hopes and nails,
It leaned like gossip and moaned in gales.
Ma tiled the kitchen with glue and pride,
Now plates slide off like it’s a carnival ride.
Uncle Ned installed a ceiling fan,
It flew off mid-spin and scalped the man.
Aunt Sue painted each wall a new shade,
But ran out of light, so now it’s just “fade.”
Granny made curtains from old feed sacks,
Now our kitchen smells like bovine snacks.
The roof got patched with tape and twine,
Then rained raccoons for the fourth straight time.
The stairs are crooked, the floorboards scream,
The guest room’s haunted by Ma’s old dream.
We turned the outhouse into a “spa,”
With a bucket, some mint, and occasional awe.
So if you fix it yourself with tools and cheer,
Just keep the number for the fire chief near.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on August 17, 2022 by Alan Nafzger