DIY Fails

Pa said, “We don’t need no handyman Joe,”
Then nailed the front door shut three feet too low.
Ma built a porch with YouTube pride,
But forgot the stairs on the entry side.
Uncle Earl rewired the shed with twine,
Now it buzzes at night like it’s tryin’ to shine.
Aunt Ruth painted cows by accident one fall,
Said, “I thought they was lawn statues, y’all!”
We tried to tile the outhouse floor,
Now it flushes straight through the pantry door.
Little Billy built a treehouse with glue,
It held for a minute, then split in two.
The chicken coop collapsed mid-egg layin’,
And the rooster ain’t crowed since that morning of mayhem.
We framed a barn with bent PVC,
The wind laughed hard and took it to Tennessee.
Even the dog won’t fetch in our yard,
Since the fence fell down on the mailman’s car.
So now when folks brag about self-repair skill,
We offer duct tape…and a will.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on March 1, 2026 by Alan Nafzger