Colorado Champion Steer Owner Asks to Refinance the Ribbon
GREELEY, Colorado — A Weld County livestock exhibitor has won the agricultural equivalent of an Academy Award and found out that the trophy costs a good deal more than the movie.
Local rancher Dennis McAllister celebrated his grand champion steer victory by lifting a blue ribbon above his head, hugging his family, and immediately asking whether the livestock committee accepted monthly payments.
The steer, a magnificent black Angus named Mortgage, had impressed the judges with outstanding muscling, balance, and structural soundness.
Unfortunately, Mortgage had also impressed the family’s banker with his ability to generate expenses.
Grand Champion Steer Costs More Than the Ribbon
McAllister estimated that his family’s competition budget included the animal’s purchase price, feed, veterinary care, grooming equipment, transportation, entry fees, and an astonishing number of small expenses that appeared whenever anybody said the phrase “just one more thing.”
His wife, Linda, had carefully recorded everything.
“The steer looks fantastic,” she said. “Our financial statement looks like something survived a tornado.”
The family declined to disclose its actual expenses, although McAllister admitted that his pickup truck had received less maintenance than the steer.
“I’ve spent more time brushing that animal than I’ve spent talking to my accountant,” he said.
“That explains quite a lot,” Linda replied.
A feed store receipt Linda kept in the glove compartment shows three visits in a single week, each marked “one more bag.” The cashier, Teresa Hollins, said the family had earned a loyalty card and a rewards balance she described as “concerning.”
Farm Production Expenses Hit Close to Home
The money trouble isn’t entirely a product of county-fair enthusiasm.
The USDA Economic Research Service’s latest forecast projected national farm production expenses of about $492.8 billion, a 4.5% increase over the previous year.
Those are national expenses, not a typical show-animal budget, but McAllister considered them personally relatable.
“Sounds about right,” he said. “I believe half of that was my feed bill.”
His banker disagreed, explaining that the other half was apparently being spent by customers who also owned tractors.
Premium Auction Gives Family Forty-Five Seconds of Hope
The family’s financial expectations improved when Mortgage entered the premium auction.
An enthusiastic group of local businesses bid generously to support the young exhibitor who had raised the steer.
For a glorious forty-five seconds, McAllister believed the family might actually recover its investment.
Then Linda reminded him that the auction proceeds belonged to their daughter, who planned to use the money for college.
“Which is exactly why we’re doing this,” Dennis announced.
He then asked whether the college might accept a used cattle trailer as tuition. The auctioneer declined to speculate.
An internal memo circulated at the family’s bank, a copy of which reached this publication, rates the McAllister account “agriculturally optimistic” and recommends that loan officers “stop making eye contact at the grocery store.” It lists USDA farm loan programs as “a matter for later.”
Best Return on Investment Award Rewards Record Keeping
The livestock committee responded to complaints by introducing a new award called Best Return on Investment.
Participants were asked to calculate total expenditures, revenue, and net financial results. Most contestants immediately requested assistance from their parents.
One participant discovered that a large premium auction price didn’t automatically mean a profit.
Another calculated that the family’s most profitable agricultural activity had been selling bottled water outside the show barn.
A person familiar with the auction, who asked not to be named because the banker is also their landlord, said the winning bid “was generous in a way that should be taught in schools.”
The grand prize went to a twelve-year-old exhibitor who borrowed grooming clippers, reused equipment, kept accurate expense records, and resisted buying every fashionable accessory advertised online.
His pig placed fourth. His financial records placed first.
McAllister studied the results thoughtfully.
“Maybe next year we’ll focus on making money instead of winning ribbons,” he said.
Linda smiled.
The following morning, Dennis purchased another expensive steer because he believed it possessed “championship potential.”
Linda called the banker.
Mortgage, unaware of the discussion, continued chewing.
Five Humorous Observations About Show Ring Debt
- Winning grand champion is great until you realize the ribbon cost more than the steer and the steer cost more than the truck.
- He spent more time brushing the animal than talking to his accountant. Which tells you which one has the better conversation.
- The kid who won the money award placed fourth with his pig. Fourth! And he’s the only one in the building who’ll ever own a house.
- A banker looks at a steer named Mortgage and thinks, finally, honesty in branding.
- The best moneymaker at the whole show was bottled water. They raise a steer for twelve grand and the profit’s in a dollar bottle. That’s agriculture in a nutshell.