Washington Rescues Farmers From Emergencies They Already Survived
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Department of Agriculture has announced an $8 billion Harvest Fuel Relief Program, proving once again that Washington can solve almost any agricultural crisis provided farmers survive long enough for the government to discover it.
President Donald Trump and Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins announced the assistance, promising one-time payments to help American producers struggling with expensive diesel and other rising costs. The money will be distributed through the Farm Service Agency.
Unfortunately, somebody forgot to tell the federal government that diesel is generally purchased before a tractor burns it.
Across America’s agricultural heartland, farmers welcomed the announcement while wondering whether the government also intended to reimburse them for last Christmas, their first marriage, and the emotional damage caused by opening fertilizer invoices.
“I appreciate the help,” explained a Kansas farmer who had already purchased 14,000 gallons of diesel. “But I was hoping for assistance when the fuel dealer wanted money. Apparently Washington operates on the same schedule as my mother-in-law. Shows up after all the work is finished and explains how we should have done it.”
Retroactive Prosperity Hits the Farm Economy
Agricultural economists have identified the problem as retroactive prosperity, a uniquely American financial philosophy under which government assistance becomes available immediately after the recipient no longer has an immediate use for it.
The USDA says the program will help offset costs. Farmers say offsetting costs would have been considerably easier before they spent the money.
Nevertheless, Washington officials reportedly believe the program represents a major achievement in agricultural policy.
Under the new bureaucratic philosophy, farmers may soon receive emergency hay assistance after the cattle have been sold, drought relief following a flood, and tornado reconstruction grants once the debris has been converted into firewood.
One Oklahoma producer suggested that the government improve its scheduling by consulting a calendar.
“That’s what we use out here,” he explained. “It’s got all twelve months. The government apparently has only two: Election Season and After the Damage.”
Why Farm Emergency Payments Keep Arriving After the Bills
The program raises a more uncomfortable economic question.
Why does the government repeatedly send emergency payments instead of addressing the policies, market disruptions, taxes, energy constraints, and transportation expenses that make emergency payments necessary?
Consider the agricultural supply chain. Diesel powers tractors, combines, irrigation equipment, grain trucks, and countless other machines. When fuel costs rise, the additional expense doesn’t politely disappear into the atmosphere. It travels through every acre, bushel, and freight invoice. Washington calls this inflationary pressure. Farmers call it Tuesday.
The relief money may provide meaningful assistance, particularly to heavily leveraged operations. Nobody struggling to meet payroll should be expected to refuse a legitimate payment merely because the government has developed an unusually complicated relationship with common sense.
Farm Diesel Costs and Government Payments, by the Numbers
The new fuel program arrives in a year when Washington is already sending farmers a great deal of money. The USDA Economic Research Service farm income forecast puts direct government payments to farmers at roughly $44 billion this year, up about 45% from the year before, even as net farm income is forecast to slip. At the same time, a record 52% of producers in the Purdue University/CME Group Ag Economy Barometer named higher input costs as their top concern. The payments are real. So are the costs they are chasing.
The Receipt
A fuel receipt from a Kansas cooperative shows 14,000 gallons of off-road diesel purchased in a single afternoon. A handwritten note on the back, apparently by the farmer’s wife, reads: “Paid in full. Do not mention to Washington. They will want to reimburse us for last Christmas too.”
Word From the County Office
A Farm Service Agency county office employee said the program was “designed to help producers with fuel costs” and that producers “should keep all receipts.” Asked whether farmers should also keep the fuel, the employee said that would be “outside the scope of the program.”
Transcript From a Hold Line
Recording: Your call is important to us. Estimated wait time is eleven days.
Caller: The relief program is for fuel I already burned.
Recording: Please continue to hold.
Caller: The fuel isn’t going to un-burn.
Recording: Your call is important to us.
Still, the agricultural community has proposed an alternative program.
Instead of sending farmers $8 billion after expenses rise, Washington could attempt the revolutionary experiment of making American agriculture less expensive to operate.
Federal officials rejected the proposal after discovering it might eliminate the need for another federal program.
The USDA nevertheless considers the Harvest Fuel Relief initiative a success. Farmers remain cautiously optimistic. Their tractors, meanwhile, have requested reimbursement for next year.
Five Humorous Observations About Farm Fuel Relief
- They gave farmers eight billion dollars to buy diesel they already burned. That’s like getting a coupon for the pizza you ate last Friday.
- Washington only has two seasons: Election Season and After the Damage. It’s a weather app run by a dog.
- Retroactive prosperity. That’s when you get rich in the past. I could use that. Send me the raise I didn’t get at my last job.
- The tractors want reimbursement for next year. I respect that. At least somebody on this farm is planning ahead.
- Farmers call inflation “Tuesday.” Which is great, because Wednesday’s worse.