Grandma Starts Moonshine-Fueled Tractor Racing League, Wins Championship at Ninety-Four

Ma waved the checkered bib with flair,
Pa revved the John Deere in his underwear.
Granny, helmeted in lace and gin,
Whipped past teens with a denture grin.
“This ain’t NASCAR, this is NasCart!”
She yelled, drifting through the barnyard cart.
The moonshine fueled both tank and pride,
As chickens fled and rules all died.
She crushed the mayor in heat six,
And power-slid through two politics.
“I don’t race for fame or clout,”
She winked, “just chase coyotes out.”
Now ESPN begs for rights to air,
While Granny signs hats with silver hair.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on December 18, 2021 by Alan Nafzger

By Alan Nafzger

Professor Alan Nafzger is the publisher of Farm.FM, writing from Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned his Ph.D. in political science with a focus on rural policy and agricultural economics, a master's degree in public administration emphasizing rural development, and a bachelor's degree in political science. Over a dual career spanning 57 years, he has taught rural policy, agricultural economics, and county administration while managing a family operation that includes farming, ranching, and dairy. The classroom and the farmstead keep each other honest: he writes about the policies he has studied and the cattle, crops, and milk checks he has actually had to live with.

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