Dairy Farmers Say They Mostly Want a Water Heater
BARABOO, Wisconsin — A political revolution is sweeping rural America as farmers who have spent their lives defending free enterprise begin examining alternative economic philosophies for the first time. The ideological transformation is not particularly sophisticated.
Most participants are simply looking for an economic system in which they can afford groceries.
A Wisconsin dairy farmer explained that he had voted Republican for decades because he believed in private property, individual responsibility and the dignity of honest work. He still believed in all three.
Unfortunately, private property now required enormous insurance payments, individual responsibility involved servicing substantial debt, and honest work seemed to generate excellent incomes for everyone except himself.
“I’m not becoming Karl Marx,” he explained. “I’d just like enough money to replace the water heater.”
The Ideological Revolution Begins at the Feed Store
Democratic candidates interpreted rural frustration as evidence that agricultural communities were ready for sweeping economic reform.
One progressive organizer arrived at a dairy farm carrying several books about socialism.
The farmer asked whether the books explained how to negotiate lower feed costs. The organizer said they explained the contradictions of capitalism. The farmer replied that he was already familiar with those contradictions. He owned approximately 180 of them, and they needed milking twice a day.
The organizer proposed that workers should control the means of production. The farmer pointed toward the barn.
“Congratulations. You can start at four tomorrow morning.”
The organizer explained that the revolution would require proper scheduling. The farmer suggested that the cows might reject the schedule.
Republicans responded to the growing discussion by warning that socialism would destroy American agriculture.
The dairy farmer asked whether destruction would look significantly different from working eighteen hours a day to service debt.
A Republican spokesman explained that socialism eliminates economic incentives. The farmer glanced at his most recent milk check.
“Apparently, we’ve already started.”
The underlying economic tensions are measurable.
The Purdue/CME Group farmer sentiment survey found that 35% of surveyed producers expected to be worse off financially a year later, compared with 22% expecting improvement.
Neither statistic, however, establishes that farmers were abandoning capitalism or switching parties en masse. Such distinctions received little attention at the feed store. Democrats celebrated the arrival of agricultural socialists. Republicans denounced the collapse of rural conservatism. Farmers explained that they mostly wanted better economic prospects. One cattleman compared the situation to shopping for pickup trucks.
“If the truck I’ve been driving keeps breaking down, I’ll look at another brand. Doesn’t mean I’ve joined a transportation revolution.”
Sauk County Shows What Rural Turnout Means for Wisconsin
Sauk County, near Baraboo, is considered a bellwether, and Wisconsin Public Radio went there to ask about the Trump factor for rural voters. David Helpap, a political scientist at UW-Green Bay, said: “Over the last several election cycles, when President Trump hasn’t been on the ballot, turnout has been lower, particularly for typically Republican voters.” He said enthusiasm, for better or worse, could affect turnout. In a state as closely divided as Wisconsin, a few hundred missing rural voters can swing a statewide race.
An Eyewitness at the Feed Store
“I was buying mineral tubs when the candidate came in,” said a Sauk County woman who has milked cows for thirty years. “He asked how I was voting. I said I was thinking about it. He said what would help me decide. I said a water heater. He wrote it down. I watched him. He wrote ‘water heater,’ and underlined it twice, and I wondered if I should have asked for something bigger.”
Messages Between Neighbors
A text thread among three Baraboo-area dairy farmers reads:
Gene: Heard Don is thinking about socialism
Pete: Don can’t decide on a hat
Gene: He says it’s the water heater
Pete: It’s always the water heater
Gene: I might look into it too
Pete: Look into what
Gene: Whatever fixes the water heater
A Poll at the Livestock Barn
An informal poll at a livestock barn asked thirty-eight farmers whether they considered themselves conservative. Thirty-three said yes. Asked whether they were satisfied with the current economic direction, thirty-five said no. Asked whether those two answers were in conflict, they asked what was for lunch.
A Democratic candidate promised to bring economic justice to rural Wisconsin. The farmer asked whether justice could repair a manure spreader. The candidate promised a detailed answer after the election. Republicans warned the farmer not to trust socialist promises. He agreed that skepticism was sensible. Then he asked whether Republicans had any economic solutions of their own. They offered another promise. The farmer smiled.
“Well, at least socialism has competition.”
Five Humorous Observations About Dairy and Politics
- The farmer says he’s not becoming Karl Marx, he’d just like to replace the water heater. That’s the entire political platform of the Midwest.
- “The contradictions of capitalism? I’ve got about 180 of them, milked twice a day.” Best definition I’ve ever heard.
- If your truck keeps breaking down, you shop another brand. That’s not a revolution. That’s Tuesday at the dealership.
- “At least socialism has competition.” Boy, that’s a line. Put it on a lawn sign. It’s got more truth than the rest of them.
- A politician promised an answer after the election. That’s the pizza guy saying he’ll bring the pizza after you’ve moved.