Roommates
Moved in with Earl to save some dough,
Didn’t know he sleeps with a taxidermy crow.
He labels his pickles and names his bread,
And irons his jeans before goin’ to bed.
He hums at night and whistles at corn,
And trims his nose hairs each Tuesday morn.
I caught him talkin’ to his pet cactus,
Named it “Darla” and blamed it for taxes.
He microwaves fish at the crack of dawn,
Then sprays the couch with “Essence of Fawn.”
He uses my boots to make soup stock,
And replaced my lamp with a lava rock.
We split the rent and a bag of rice,
But he insists the forks “aren’t spiritually nice.”
When I brought home a date, he played the lute,
Dressed like Lincoln and offered her fruit.
So if you room with a fella for less,
Prepare for weird, and pray for mess.
Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)