Pet Shenanigans

I had a blue heeler with a PhD in sass,
He once herded chickens straight into my bath.
The barn cat ran campaigns from the hay,
Declaring herself Queen of Feedlot Bay.
The goat learned to unlock every damn gate,
Then blamed the pig, who’s his alibi mate.
The rooster took selfies on Ma’s old iPhone,
Posted “Rise and Cluck” with a judgmental tone.
The donkey faked limps for attention and snacks,
While raccoons in the pantry laid midnight attacks.
My dog married a duck in a Sunday suit,
And the preacher horse whinnied, “Now kiss, ya brute!”
The cows joined TikTok to protest the grain,
Claimed they were gluten-free, demanded champagne.
The sheep formed a union and went on strike,
Said shearing’s unethical and bad for their psyche.
The ferret runs scams on my Amazon Prime,
Ordered 12 hats and a cologne called “Swine.”
Now city folk visit and say, “How quaint!”
But when the parrot cussed ‘em out, they nearly faint.
This ain’t just a farm–it’s an ark with no rules,
Where the animals prank me and act like old fools.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)