Ministers promise a map of the map

Ministers promise a map of the map

COVENTRY, England — The British government has achieved a rare administrative triumph: it has produced a 25-year plan for farming that reportedly left a room of farm leaders unable to say where farming was meant to go. Officials insisted this was not a navigation problem. It was a communications opportunity requiring another document.

Council Members Fail to See the Direction

Farmers Weekly reported that NFU president Tom Bradshaw asked around ninety council members whether the government’s Farming Roadmap offered clarity, and none raised a hand. Bradshaw argued that the industry needed a five-year plan and a ten-year vision rather than a distant document that might simply postpone decisions.

Whitehall Plans a Map of the Roadmap

The response from Whitehall was immediate. A new committee would prepare a map of the roadmap. If that proved insufficient, a second committee would publish a guide to the map. The final product would include a QR code taking farmers to a website explaining why the guidance was being revised.

An arable farmer asked whether the map would show his actual field. A civil servant explained that field-level specificity could constrain future strategic flexibility. “So you don’t know where I am?” the farmer asked. “We know where you are in principle,” came the reply. “That is the foundational achievement of the strategy.”

An extract from the transcript of the exchange reads: Farmer: “Can I see where my farm is on the map?” Official: “Field-level specificity may constrain strategic flexibility.” Farmer: “So you don’t know where I am?” Official: “We know where you are in principle.” Farmer: “What’s the principle?” Official: “That you are somewhere.” The official then asked whether the meeting could move on to the QR code.

A Dairy Producer Explains Daily Accountability

At the meeting, a dairy producer offered to demonstrate how ordinary rural planning works. She produced a calendar showing calving dates, feed deliveries and bills. She could not simply announce that the cows would be milked at some unspecified point over the next quarter-century. The cows, she explained, operated under a demanding system of daily accountability.

A briefing note headed “Roadmap Communications Strategy, Draft 4,” which an attendee left on a seat and a reporter picked up, lists the following actions. Action one: prepare a map of the roadmap. Action two: prepare a guide to the map. Action three: prepare a short video explaining why the guide has been revised. Action four: pause the video pending action one. A handwritten note in the margin reads “see above.”

Why Short-Term Rules Matter

Government has a legitimate role in setting long-term expectations for agriculture, especially when land management, food security and environmental investments require years of preparation. But strategic language cannot replace short-term rules. Farmers need to know what support is available, what obligations apply and which decisions will remain stable long enough to justify spending money.

A Progress Bar Powered by Invoices

A guidance team introduced a progress indicator to improve confidence. The indicator showed a tractor moving slowly across a blank page. Every time a minister spoke about ambition, it moved another inch. Unfortunately, the tractor had no wheels and the progress bar was being powered by a consultant’s invoice.

A show of hands at a regional farm meeting the following evening put a different question. Of 74 farmers present, 61 said they would have preferred a five-year plan and a ten-year vision. Nine said they would take a one-year plan if it came with a date. Four said they’d prefer a sandwich. The organizers counted the sandwich votes as supportive of the roadmap, in the sense that they were unanimous.

The farm leaders proposed a simpler approach. Ask producers what they need to plan for the next five years, answer plainly and let them get on with the work. The suggestion was rejected as insufficiently visionary.

The ministers promised to listen. Farmers accepted the promise but asked for a delivery date, preferably one occurring before the people in the room had retired.

A spokesman responded that the timeline would be addressed in the forthcoming timetable framework.

Five Observations About Mapping the Roadmap

1. The government made a 25-year farming plan and left the room of farm leaders unable to say where farming’s going. Officials called it a ‘communications opportunity.’ That’s what they call it when they lose the directions.
2. They’ll make a map of the roadmap. If that doesn’t work, a guide to the map. Then a QR code that takes you to a website explaining why the guide changed. At that point it’s not agriculture. It’s a very slow scavenger hunt.
3. The farmer asks, ‘So you don’t know where I am?’ The official says, ‘We know where you are in principle.’ Buddy, I’m a farmer. I know where I am in principle. It’s called the barn.
4. The progress bar shows a tractor with no wheels powered by a consultant’s invoice. And every time a minister says ‘ambition,’ it moves one inch. That’s the most accurate government graphic I’ve ever seen.
5. The farmers asked for a delivery date. Preferably one before everybody in the room retires. A spokesman said the timeline would be addressed in the forthcoming timetable framework. The timetable has a framework. I bet the framework has a map.