Technology Glitches

I bought a smart fridge to impress my kin,
It ordered 12 gallons of tonic and gin.
The tractor went rogue with its autopilot mode,
Plowed “HELP ME” in dirt down County Road.
Alexa joined prayer group without my say,
Now she blasts hymns at the break of day.
The doorbell shows ghosts, or maybe raccoons,
It sings “Cotton Eye Joe” under blood moons.
My smart watch told me I died last week,
But I was alive–just takin’ a leak.
The cow got tagged with RFID pride,
Now she streams podcasts about “life inside.”
The Wi-Fi extends to the chicken coop,
Where hens watch crime shows in a Netflix loop.
The coffee maker asked me for tips,
Then Venmo’d itself and left in a ship.
I yelled “reboot!” at my old combine,
It printed a recipe and a Zodiac sign.
The drone we bought to herd the calves
Tried joining Space Force on our behalf.
Technology’s fine when it actually works,
But out on the range–it mostly just jerks.

Alan Nafzger (editor@bohiney.com)

Last Updated on May 4, 2021 by Alan Nafzger